The per Sue of happiness

5x7 Folded Card

2011-11-14T10:43:00.001-05:00

Monogram Stamp Teal Thank You Card

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Genetics

2011-06-14T15:37:00.004-04:00

It's said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well this rambunctious thing sure be-holdin' it!

She's also got daddy wrapped around her finger!!! Is it any wonder?

If You Have Nothing Nice to Say....

2011-04-05T17:50:00.007-04:00

What is with some people and their inappropriate comments?

I OFTEN wonder if some mothers forget to teach their kids to keep undeserved snide remarks to themselves because there are plenty of adults out there who write checks with their mouths which their a$$es can't cash! Being a smartass in response to some crappy situation is one thing but to make crazy comments outright, for no reason, is just plain rude. To do so in the course of your job, takes the cake.

Being pregnant seems to make you a magnet for sh*t like this.

Since this is my third time around, I thought I'd pretty much heard it all and learned how to graciously deal with off-the-wall commentary. I've learned to stomach remarks like 'your belly is huge,' ' are you sure there is only one in there,' 'you look like you swallowed (insert large object here),' 'are you going to breast feed with those huge boobies?' It's second nature to just smile and respond 'I love being pregnant,' and leave it at that. Yet, this morning I was greeted by the most inappropriate one I've heard to date and it left me speechless.

Today, while shopping at Target, the cashier felt it her duty to inquire about my fecundity.

Cashier: You have this pretty, little girl and you're already expecting another?

Me: We also have an older child who is 7.

Cashier: Don't you have a TV?

Me: ..... (I said nothing.)

Not only do we have a TV, but we have quite a few- one in our room, a huge one in the Florida room, one in Nick's room and one in my hubby's man cave. We also have Direct TV, an overabundance of movies, 4 gaming systems and a cabinet full of board games.

Oh, and did I mention that we also have healthy sex drives and a loving marriage? No complaints here- CLEARLY!

I am overly impressed with my restraint at not responding with an atypical, off-the-cuff response because this character was truly deserving of one. She had 4" brown roots on blond hair, a severe case of whiskers and a nasty case of camel toe from wearing pants that were two sizes too small. You'd think she could use her Target discount, not to mention the paycheck I just helped her earn by patronizing her employer, to buy a pair of pants that fit, some tweezers and some hair dye.

Why I oughta...

2011-02-06T17:15:00.004-05:00

You should see the other guy!

Photo/caption credit: my awesome hubby.

The Nature of the Beast(excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: Culture)

2011-01-06T10:28:00.007-05:00

Kids say the darndest things. Everyone knows it but I swear this kiddo of mine tops the list.

His latest epiphany: little Viv is a beast.

Here's how he came to this conclusion:

As I sat there feeding Viv in her high chair (she's at the saying "mmm" every time you put food in her mouth stage), Nick comes out of his room ~~to avoid cleaning it~~.

Nick: Remember when we had Chinese day in 1st grade?

Note: They learned about Chinese customs, ate Chinese food and were given one of those place mats displaying the Chinese zodiac.

The Chinese zodiac, much like the Western zodiac, features twelve signs. Yet, instead of a monthly cycle, each personality is based on a 12 yr cycle. The personality associated with each sign is supposed to be how people perceive you. There are also 4 groups, or Trines, consisting of three similar personalities or perfect balances.

Nick: What year were you born, mom?
Me: 19XX...Never ask a woman that question.
Nick: You are a Rabbit.

I am a rabbit. (haha) Gracious, good friend, kind, sensitive, soft-spoken, amiable, elegant, reserved, cautious, artistic, thorough, tender, self-assured, shy, astute, compassionate, lucky, flexible. Can be moody, detached, superficial, self-indulgent, opportunistic, stubborn.

Yup, sounds like me ~~except for the whole I'm not Chinese and don't follow this bit~~.

Rabbits belong to the 4th Trine. The other two personalities in my Trine are the Sheep and the Pig. The quest for these three signs is the aesthetic and beautiful in life. Their calm nature gives them great leadership abilities. They are artistic, refined, intuitive, and well-mannered. These souls love the preliminaries in love, and are fine artists in their lovemaking. The Rabbit, Sheep and Pig have been bestowed with calmer natures than the other 9 signs. These three are compassionately aware, yet detached and resigned to their condition. They seek beauty and a sensitive lover. They are caring, unique, self-sacrificing, obliging, sensible, creative, empathic, tactful, and prudent. They can also be naive, pedantic, insecure, cunning, indecisive, and pessimistic.

Me: What are you?
Nick: I'm a Sheep.

Ah, the Sheep. Righteous, sincere, sympathetic, mild-mannered, shy, artistic, creative, gentle, compassionate, understanding, mothering, peaceful, generous, seeks security. Can be moody, indecisive, over-passive, worrier, pessimistic, over-sensitive, complainer, weak-willed.

Me: What is Dad?
Nick: What year was dad born?
Me: 19XX.
Nick: Whoa. Dad is also a sheep and you know what, the new baby will be a rabbit too! Isn't that cool?!?!

The irony here is that we all belong to the same Trine so in theory, we have the perfect balance for each of our personalities.

Nick: Oh Oh, Mom.
Me: What?
Nick: It says that Viv is a Tiger.

Tiger. Let's see, Tiger, Tiger- ah, TIGER. Unpredictable, rebellious, colorful, powerful, passionate, daring, impulsive, vigorous, stimulating, sincere, affectionate, humanitarian, generous. Can be restless, reckless, impatient, quick-tempered, obstinate, selfish, aggressive, moody.

Holy sh*t. I don't know which one I should be more concerned with- Nick being like Gus, this next baby like me, or Viv with this wild-child hat.

Nick: She's going to eat us alive! A rabbit and sheep are a tiger's prey.
Me: ::blink blink::

I love how his brain works.

Incidentally, curious about additional Chinese zodiac information, I checked up on it later. It turns out that the all-knowing place mat lists Viv's birth year as a Tiger however it's also based on birth dates so Viv is actually an Ox. Neither here nor there with me because I don't believe in any of this hocus pocus, just an interesting fact.

Oh, one last thing; In the Western Zodiac, I'm TOTALLY screwed. I'm a Libra. Gus is a Capricorn. Vivian is a Capricorn. (My mom is a Capricorn.) Nick is a Leo and odds are, this next daughter will be a Taurus. Yup, a conflict loathing Libra surrounded by the most hard-headed creatures: goats, a lion and a bull.

God help me. Wait- God + zodiacs... lol

My Poor Uterus

2011-01-04T21:23:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure my husband has lost his mind. No- really, he has.

Gus loves kids. I knew that within moments of meeting him, well actually Nick did. Granted Nick will engage anyone in a conversation but the day I met my husband, Nick chatted up a storm with him and Gus loved every minute. My husband was genuinely enthralled with Nick and vice-versa, so much so that I can count the words I personally spoke to Gus that night on one hand. It's funny how many men try to worm their way into a woman's life by smooth talking their children. I say it's funny because it's always so obviously forced that it's pathetic.

In my husband's case, everyone could tell he was genuine and I admit it's one of the reasons that I opened up the dating door for Gus. In hindsight, I'm glad that I did.

Except, that is, when he makes comments regarding future inhabitants of my uterus.

When we were pregnant with Viv, he asked the OBGYN if there were any fertility drugs that I could take that would produce multiples 'the next time' around. ... Both the doctor and I did a Scooby-esque 'Aroo,' with the doc responding 'finish with this one first.' His excitement was cute but I never thought he was serious....although he later had me eating cassava and drinking nothing but whole milk for the entire 6 month waiting period before trying to conceive again.

Fast forward a little over a year and our daughter will turn one on the same day I reach the halfway point with our current pregnancy. She will be 16 months old when her sister makes her grand appearance. I figure three children will be manageable....even with two under the age of 2.

As it is, my calendar is full. I care for the kids. I run my husband's company. I run our home + this pregnancy has kicked me in the butt. My hands are full.... OF LOVE, but there's still room for the one scheduled to arrive in May.

There is not, however, room for a 4th or so on. So, naturally, you can imagine my concern when he mentioned trying for #4 in a year or two.

How do people do it? Moreover, how do the mothers of triplets+ do it?

If I didn't think it would put a serious strain on our marriage, I would ask the doctor to snip/tie/BURN those magical tubes before he closes me up after this C-section. Gus would be seriously disappointed, though. I won't even go into his reaction to vasectomy talks.

I'll tell you one thing, it's going to take a ~~whole lotta diamonds, abdominoplasty, breast augmentation and quite possibly a Porsche~~ BUNCH of convincing on his part for me to even consider being a human cocoon again.

Three children is more than enough, right?

The Bad Part (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: tearjerker moments)

2010-12-29T10:16:00.003-05:00

I realize that my current state- set to extremely tired by-the-way, (thanks holidays and Chich + Mom's birthdays... not to mention the human growing inside of me) may contribute somewhat to my emotions but there's one parenting chore that always gets me in the back of my throat.

I procrastinate even though it's scheduled for the same times yearly- right after his birthday and right after the holidays. I plan for it but never take the appropriate action.

Then, when I have no choice but to tackle the issue, it overwhelms me. So much so that I let it dictate my mood. I hate, but I mean REALLY hate going through his things to donate them.

I admit to saving some special outfits in a bin I keep of his stuff, but the clothing isn't difficult. The nicer items are handed down to cousin's children or friends while everything else goes to the Goodwill (with a bonus tax deduction for good measure). Did I mention that Nick has no dilemma with tossing clothing?

His toys are a different animal altogether.

It won't matter that he never plays with them any longer- and by 'never' I mean 'not in over 6 months,' he pitches a fit. It won't matter if they are toys for a child considerably younger than him; he pitches a fit. It won't even matter if they are broken!

He pitches a fit.

We call him Nanta Claws because he jumps up and down, flailing his arms, wailing 'Noooohoho.' It's funny while simultaneously yanking my heart out of my chest. But you gotta do what you gotta do, so I put on my game face and exert my Momness. Besides, this kid has entirely way too much CRAP! So I sit down, with him Nanta Clawsing behind me, and begin to pick through his things.

I search for items he hasn't played with in months. They are always the items at the bottom of the toy chest and in the dark corners of his closet. Surely he can't miss these, right?

Wrong.

Noohoho

As I pick them out, memories of watching him play, or playing with him, flood my head. I remember what he was wearing, what was said, every last moment as if it was yesterday.

I smile.
I wonder where the time has gone.

As I explain the toys will be used by kids at the church who don't have toys, tears well in my eyes.

I hide them as Nick calms with every passing choice. He'll occasionally ask if he can keep a certain toy. I usually acquiesce but draw the line at fast food chain toys. By the end of the process, he's seemingly unconcerned and organizing newer items in the extra space. It is trying, though, so this year I asked my mom to take him so I could do it in his absence.

In true Suzy form, I'm procrastinating and writing this instead. This is the year I pass the obscenely large Thomas collection on. He loved Thomas so much...SO much. I have some awesome memories of helping other trains with mountainside derailments and what-nots. He was so creative and incredibly detailed with his stories that it was difficult to not enjoy yourself immensely when playing with him. I miss that. TONS...

I hope the next child and his mother enjoy playing with it as much as Nick and I have over the years. See ya Thomas.

File this under: "I said that?"

2010-12-28T12:59:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I take a step back and wonder when I became my mother.

This morning Nick was pushing Viv around in her new car.

Nick: Mimi and I are stopping for some gas.

(lifts up gas tank on car & pretends to pour gas in)
Gulp.Gulp.Gulp.
Click.Click.Click.

Me: You know, gas is projected to jump to $5/gallon by 2012. We're researching alternative forms of energy.

Nick: We're off!

Do Unto Others as They Would Do Unto You.

2010-12-15T17:18:00.007-05:00

I'm convinced I know why more people don't do nice things anymore. It's because their kindness has put them in an unfavorable situation.

Who wants to be altruistic when it bites you in the ass?

Case in point:

My hubby was recently involved in an accident on his way home. He was rear-ended by a kid. Incidentally, I laugh because I now think early 20s is 'kid' but I digress.

So yeah, he was rear-ended. In the dark, on a black car, all you could see was that the bumper was damaged. When he called me, remembering a similar accident I had as a kid, I told him to get a police officer to write an incident report. He didn't have to get them to issue the kid a ticket but he did need to have an officer participate in the whole exchange of information.

"Please don't give me a ticket. I promise I'll pay for the damages" requests pull at your heart strings but they can get really hairy.

In college, I drove a white Acura (which is ironic because I now drive a black one) which was also rear-ended. At 11:30 in the evening, in a light-drizzle, my damage didn't look too bad but an officer witnessed the accident and offered me the option of issuing the ticket or not. I'm not an asshole plus the other driver was a kid, like me, wearing a Publix vest so we just exchanged information. The estimate and repair was a tedious process because of logistics- Gainesville vs Miami, but that wasn't as bad as what the kid had to pay out of pocket.

His little Corolla hit me so hard that my car buckled. They had to put it on a machine and stretch the frame. Think $1500 is easy to come by for a grocery bagger?

Back to my husband's incident. He did have police involved; the other driver did not get a ticket; and the other driver agreed to pay for the damages. Of course, in some ironic twist of fate, guess what's wrong with the car? Yup, the car buckled.

Neither my husband or I have had an accident in over 15 years so we don't know any reputable body shops. I just want the car repaired to pre-accident condition so I did the most logical thing I could think of: I went to a body shop recommended by the kid's insurance company.

"I can tell just by looking at the quarter panel," says the adjuster at the body shop. "This guy is going to want to report this to his insurance if you fix it correctly. It's going to run at least $2100 as long as we don't find additional damage to the frame once we take it apart and don't forget that you'll still need a car to get around."

Damn. I guess we could use the truck if we have to but what a pain in the ass. That will run me extra gas, extra miles and at least 2 additional hours daily in traffic if I have to drive Gus around daily. That sucks but that's what being nice gets you, right?

No, of course not. You reap generous rewards when you're nice.

"2000$ is ridiculous," says the kid's mom who became involved after my husband called to give the kid the estimate and body shop information. [The kid now says a)he can't afford to pay it because he's collecting workman's comp from Lime; and b) it's impossible for my husband to drive off in a car with $2100 worth of damage.] "The officer wrote an estimated $500 in damages on the report. I'll give you $400 and we'll call it even. Then my attorney friend is going to draw up some papers saying the issue is resolved."

My husband then called me and told me to deal with this woman because he has no patience or tact and was about to tell this woman where she can shove her $400.

I don't have to elaborate on this Annette woman's phone demeanor. It's sufficient to say that my husband hit the nail on the head with his description AND I've already filed a claim with my insurance company. We don't have time to deal with the drama this lady is, CLEARLY, going to try to bring. Oh, and I told my mother-in-law, OUR attorney.

Thanks a bunch, Taylor Pavey. I sleep comfortably knowing my car will be repaired correctly without compromising my children's safety and that karma is going to repay you three times over.

And this, boys and girls, is today's lesson in kindness.

The Quintessential Guy Question: Boxers or Briefs?

2010-12-01T16:10:00.005-05:00

I often question my parenting skills. It's just that I'm so ~~neurotic~~ analytical that I second-guess everything in an attempt to make sure that I did the right thing.

Today Nick asked me what boxers are.

Boxers are a type of underwear- the shorts.

Not these?

No. Those are briefs.

They're not cool?

Underwear is underwear. What's cool about that?

...

But no one should be looking at your underwear while you're in school...

Maybe this was one of those questions I should have forwarded to my husband. And really, no one should be looking at his underwear at school.

Frazzle Mode

2010-11-29T21:28:00.005-05:00

I have a headache...going on day 3 now but this time I think it may not be a pregnancy symptom.

I ~~am so sure that I couldn't be more sure of anything else right now~~ think it's stress. It's my own fault, too; and I know it.

It's my nature to research. I like to know. Knowledge is the most powerful tool when making any decision.

Naturally, now that we're about to become a party of 5, I've started my research. I have so many tidbits that it feels like my head is going to explode. There's entirely too much to let me gears rest.

For starters: the family dynamic. Nick has never been resentful of his sister but I am aware of the large chunk of my and my husband's me that he's lost. It used to be all about him. Now he shares that time with Viv and while he seems to be enjoying the addition, I'm hoping he's equally as welcoming of this next sibling. He did after all get what he wants- another sister. I don't worry so much about Viv simply because she is so young. I'm hoping the adjustment won't be difficult. Maybe foolishly hoping but I'm hoping none-the-less.

A HUGE part of that family dynamic is the relationship between my husband and I. The mundane can often and easily interfere and the children will probably overwhelm us at times so we have to make sure to leave time for each other.

Then there is the googol of products. of research studies. of large family advice. of recalls. of videos. of E V E R Y T H I N G....not to mention regular ole life...

I think my head's going to explode.

Did I mention I'm exhausted? ::sigh::

Abra Cadabra, Nauseum Repellus!

2010-11-17T13:44:00.004-05:00

And just like that, it's gone.

Like some magical flip of the switch, the all powerful second trimester has arrived and all has been restored to normal. Well, except the whole growing abdomen & not being able to sleep on my back bit, of course.

And not a moment too soon either because I was getting P R E T T Y annoyed with the whole hyperemesis bit. I know I'm special but to get a condition that only less than 2% of prego women get?!?! Really? Le zumba el mango!

I'm oddly thankful for such a horrible first-trimester experience. I was almost starting to consider my husband's INSANE idea of 5 children. Not after this though- NO WAY! Three is more than plenty. Luckily, he's onboard this time.

Anyhow, the burst of energy you get is literally that- a burst. Last week I was half dead in bed, throwing up an average of 6 times daily, hypersalivating at all hours and was constantly nauseous. And this week? I'm almost afraid to mention it to anyone but things are exponentially better.

If I throw up once daily, it's an exaggeration. I can't stand to lay in bed and am actually venturing outside which is perfect considering the weather is finally nice.

Dear Santa: I've Been a Good Girl This Year.

2010-11-14T16:45:00.003-05:00

I have, I really have.

Now I know I may be a bit old to be sending you letters but I still BELIEVE and that has to count for something!

All I ask for; all my little heart desires this Christmas is a Stunfone.

I understand this toy may be somewhat unorthodox but you have dealt with special toys before.

In considering your decision, I would like to point out the following:

- I would, OF COURSE, use this toy as intended...and only for it's intended purposes.
- I would, OF COURSE, share this toy with anyone who asked (provided appropriate for age)

I would also be willing to chip in for shipping if needed.

Thank you,

Sue

(and duh, I know this product isn't real)

Rite of Passage

2010-11-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

My 86 year old grandmother still has all her teeth. So does her 91 year sister. They actually take pride in showing them off and tapping them so you can see how strong they are.

I'm thankful for good genes but some times they can be a real pain in the butt!

At age 7, Nick still hadn't lost a single tooth. The dentist told us that it was good thing- that he had strong teeth and bones, but try using that to console the only kid in his class with only baby teeth. I sympathized with him and I often wonder if this is just another one of my footsteps that he'll follow.

At the ripe age of 16, yours truly still had baby teeth. Actually, they weren't going anywhere. They were fused to my jawbone and required oral surgery to remove them. The whole roof of my mouth was cut open and an intricate maze of wires was connected to two adult teeth which had settled nicely without any indication they were ever going to come out. I had braces for almost 6 years including biweekly trips to the orthodontist to tighten said wires in an effort to pull the teeth down. They finally did come out but imagine having braces your whole college life just because of TWO teeth.

So again, I sympathized with him when, in kindergarten, he asked when his teeth would start falling out and why, now in 2nd grade, he still hadn't lost a single tooth. So although his dentist told us that health wise his teeth not falling out yet was an ideal situation, I actually thought it was doing him more harm than good. The poor kid was suffering from baby tooth-itis!

He wasn't the only one. I wanted to see some tooth fairy action too. Parenting is bittersweet with many joys and sorrows but the greatest joys come from reliving your own childhood memories through your children. I felt a bit robbed watching friends with younger kids displaying toothless grins and what-not. When was I going to get a chance to sneak into his room and stealthily steal his tooth and replace it with cashola?

Luckily, I don't feel robbed anymore. Guess who lost his 1st tooth yesterday? Oddly, it looks as if his adult tooth pushed it out because the sucker is already visible.

Oh and I would make a horrible stealth anything. I stepped on some toys, said a bad word, tripped on a shoe and almost landed on top of him. What's more? I was so nervous that I'd wake him that I forgot to take the tooth. I had to make up some sh*t about how the tooth fairy leaves your first tooth but takes all others when asked why his tooth wasn't taken.

File this under 'Wacky Product,' 'Who Would Buy This,' ' Who Would Write This ' 'Call the Cops!"; you choose.

2010-11-10T15:28:00.004-05:00

You know what I'm talking about...

Those products that literally leave you scratching your head hearing nothing but crickets.

Today, I came across this trash. And on Amazon no less!

I really have no words. No words.

I did a little research 'cuz I was sure it had to be fake and was EVEN more shocked to see it wasn't.

There are actually quite a few people calling for a boycott of Amazon if they don't remove it and I can't say that I blame them.

At last glance, it has over 400 negative reviews consisting of comments denouncing Amazon and the author.

UPDATE: The book has been removed from Amazon.

Parenthood: an argument for nurture.

2010-11-10T10:19:00.012-05:00

When I see those unbelievable stories about parents who hurt their children, I am left completely dumbfounded. It's beyond anything imaginable that an adult could harm a child, let alone their own child. It's as if no rhyme or reason exists within the psyche of that lost soul and I wonder how God lets people like that exist.

I wonder what happens to a child to make them grow up to be such a heartless and hateful individual.

Then I look at my son and uncomfortably understand.

My son's father has so rightfully earned the nickname douche. The creation of my son was far from a conventional situation but I never tried to inhibit a relationship between my son and his family. If anything, I tried too much to promote one. It's the reactions I received that cement my position for the nature vs nurture argument.

"He's a consequence of sex," were the first words spoken by my son's paternal grandmother when she became aware of her first grandchild. "He's a dirty, bastard baby," his aunt stated of him when learning the same. His paternal grandfather went as far as turning his back to my son and I when, while holding my 6 month old infant son, I asked him if he wanted to meet his grandchild.

Their sentiments have never changed in almost 8 years. They have never participated in my son's life. They have never even inquired as to his well-being. For all they know, the kid could be dead. His measly excuse for a grandfather doesn't even know that his namesake, first-born grandson lived 4 blocks away from him for almost 2 years.

And what of the tie that bonds my son to these wastes of perfectly good human bodies? What of his father? More of the same. The douche has never taken an interest in his son. Heck, he doesn't even know how the kid's name is spelled and it's not a difficult name to spell! If that doesn't speak of the complete disregard and disassociation for his son, maybe his actions can elaborate.

Over the years, the douche has chosen to point the finger of blame as to his lack of involvement in many directions. He's blamed his wife- a wife whom he lied to going as far as marrying her without telling her of my son's existence even though all their friends and family knew. In his weak defense, I do have to offer that she has spoken some unfriendly words about my son directly to me in the past but what else can you expect from someone whose whole life turned out to be a lie? I guess being bitter and resentful towards a child could be expected regardless of whether it's accepted or not. I can't blame her but I can't excuse her either. Ironically, they are now separated and he is still blaming the present on what the douche calls "a loveless marriage" and her "not letting" him see his son. (Another one-of-many BS stories but proof of what a douche he is. There's no level he won't stoop to. Even if it were true, he should have grown some balls and communicated openly with his wife instead of trash-talking her. Maybe then his marriage would not have failed.)

He's blamed his absence on distance. Douche lives a whopping 2.5 hours away and while he claims he can't make the trip often, he routinely posts pictures of his monthly trips to Miami on his social networking sites (think MySpace and facebook)....and they're not exactly hospital waiting room/family emergency pictures as he claims. The douche has blamed his absence on money too. I could write for days regarding his willful refusal, including multiple contempt motions, to pay his child support or even just his portion of Nick's medical expenses; about how he owes 5 figures; about how his driver's license is suspended for the umteenth time; about how his passport is suspended; about how he evaded an income deduction order by working under someone else's social security number; about how he evades that income deduction and tax-intercepts by creating a new corporation yearly; about he evades a tax-intercept by not filing taxes...but that's a whole 'nother post on it's own. He claims to not have money but he purchased a 2nd car, a motorcycle- even a house...he's taken all sorts of vacations- ski, Caribbean, auto races, also posting pictures online not to mention his criminal enterprises including repeat drug possessions and even a DUI (he had money to buy drugs and alcohol, money for bail, money for fines, money for probation and money for a lawyer though)...but again, he has no money to pay the gas for a 2.5 hour road trip to see his son. By the way, the douche owns a (one-of-many) company (according to the Florida Department of State - Division of Corporations) which is self-described on their website as installers and providers of high-end electronics, sound and green friendly improvements like solar panels for luxury accommodations such as yachts, mansions and businesses; businesses like Taste Gastro Pub owned by Chef Allen in Delray Beach, Fl, one of his many clients...and yet he has no money...

Even now, when given the chance to walk away, scot-free from his obligations, he prefers to hurt the child in the future. See, while he refuses to support him emotionally or financially or any other way, he wants to prohibit anyone else from doing so too, no matter how much it hurts Nick. He refuses to voluntary sign over his rights so Nick's REAL dad can adopt him and went as far as telling me that if I took him to court to terminate his rights- rights the douche has never cared to exercise, he will "find him (Nick) when he's 18 and tell him that you (meaning me) took him away from me (douche)." This guy is such a low-life that instead of letting the kid live a normal life, he prefers to disrupt it with a lie just to hurt him. Nature, right?

The douche is the shining example of a complete lack of morality and even just basic personal accountability. Looking back at the behavior of his parents towards my son, their first grandchild, it's inherently clear: disdain is something you learn. The douche learned from the example of his parents.

I remember my own childhood and how my mother never spoke a negative word about my father. I grew up idolizing him- often at her expense, because it's what they taught me. As an adult, I learned the intricacies of my parents' adult relationship and am more than thankful that I was spared being exposed to that as a child. It's because of that that I refuse to expose my son to any of the adult issues regarding his sperm donor. Since he refuses to show his mug, my son doesn't know who the douche is anyhow- by that or any other name, so luckily my work is not difficult.

These sorts of experiences destroy the argument for nature. It's dead in the water here. Yet what of nurture? Because, my son does have a daddy.

I look at my daughter and I think that she has the storybook: adoring parents, a devoted sibling and lifelong friend, and a combined extended family who adore each other equally. You always hear horror stories about demonic in-laws and that description couldn't be further from how our collective family actually is. My favorite moments occur at special occasions when everyone is a tad saucy and you overhear their interactions:

"I'm so glad it's you and not anyone else," my suegra will tell my mom. "I wouldn't be able to supportarla."

"Oh I know. Suzy had one boyfriend whose mom was a real bofe!"

And then they laugh. ( I laugh too because I know who she's referring to and the lady really was a bofe...)

Then there's my father-in-law who I hug more than my own dad! He's a pillar of a man- metaphorically and physically. At 6'4", he's a giant, living teddy bear. His wife, my other MIL, calls me her daughter. How cool is that?

Two really did become one between my husband and I and I'd be lying if I tried to say I can have this thought without tears welling in my eyes.

And then I look back at my son and realize that HE has the storybook- the rags to riches if you will. He went from having nothing, absolutely no thing, to having more than even a writer could ever pen.

He has people who genuinely love him for him. He has a family that genuinely wants him and not just because he's "theirs" although never once have they have behaved as though he is anything but THEIRS. My husband is his father in every way that will ever count and clearly, he treats my son BETTER than if my son was his.

My suegra and other MIL routinely ask for Nick to visit and I feel really crappy those few times we have prior engagements which keep us from taking him because they STINK at masking the disappointment in their voices. My father-in-law loves to buy Legos and put them together with his grandson and always cheered the loudest at Nick's baseball games.

My son's luck may have been crappy at first- receiving blood that was so watery that even basic familial courtesies could not be extended no matter how much I tried to get them involved. The silver lining is that at least he's not exposed to their vitriol. And truthfully, what could possibly bring more peace than knowing the sperm donor's family's collective ill traits won't be passed on to another generation? I'd be lying if I said it's anything but extraordinarily satisfactory (Who am I kidding? It's FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC! There is no greater sense of achievement!) that Nick is already a far better person at age 7 than they could ever hope to be and that's had nothing to do with DNA and everything to do with my parenting skills.

My personal experience makes it clear as day- los padres no nacen, se hacen! We are influenced FAR greater by our experiences than anything else.

There are men who are fathers and daddies- which is as it should be.
Then there are those who are fathers without being daddies- which speaks volumes about lacks of character, decency and love. How else do you explain someone who opts out of their parental joys and responsibilities?

And then there are MEN who are daddies without being fathers. They are the true blood, sweat and tears proof for the argument that blood is indeed NOT thicker than water.

That's why I'm through-the-roof overjoyed and LUCKY as hell that my son will learn from that example. I couldn't have dreamed up a better role model for the type of man I'd be honored for Nick to grow up to be. It's as if joy exudes from my pores.

An individual who purposefully damns his child because his pride is hurt, doesn't want to pay 'her bills' and thinks he's hurting his child's mother by ignoring his kid has no business being a parent. I will never understand how a feeble sperm donation could ever entitle someone to more opportunities in a child's life than that of a person who commits their life daily to being a role model and influencing said child positively.

Luckily, the types of people who spit on the Lord's blessing of family, receive the most severe punishment out there: absence. They miss out on life's greatest joys and are ultimately dismissed as inane.

After all, 'Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do which is inconsolable."

Scientific Nutrition (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: anatomical misconceptions)

2010-11-10T09:50:00.002-05:00

I am often left speechless by the comments this kid makes. As he gets older, they get funnier and funnier...

So Nick tells me his teacher taught him about frogs AND high school today; an odd combination- yes, but who knows what he skipped over in her association of the two.

I decide to follow up his story by telling him that you get to dissect frogs in HS. "Eeeeew" he says.

"You also get to do bugs."

"Eeeeew!"

"Even a baby shark."

"Noooo!!! Poor sharkie!"

"Yup- a baby pig too."

"Oh no! Poor baby piggy- wait, do we get to eat the ham afterward?"

...

Eew...seriously kid? Eeeew!

Welcome Back, Kotter.

2010-09-03T11:25:00.002-04:00

Whoa. It's been months since my last post.

No, I am not dead although I am currently battling a severe case of Hyperemesis. The hospital was fun except the whole no juice and cookies bit...

No, I have not won the lottery. (I wish I could win the lottery but knowing me, I would buy my family and friends E V E R Y T H I N G and spend it all within a year...probably more like 6 months.)

No, I did not join the circus- well kind of.

Today Must Be Free Carb Day!

2010-03-23T08:22:00.003-04:00

It's as if the sugar gods are trying to get me to keep this leftover baby weight on my frame. Oh well...

Unnecessary caloric additions to my diet will be made possible today courtesy of the following freebies:

Starbucks is offering a free pastry with any handcrafted drink purchase until 10:30 am. So not only will I be loading up on caffeine and sugar from my drink but I can throw in a double iced cinnamon roll to enhance the flavor! Croissants, muffins, bagels, breads, poundcakes, scones, rolls, doughnuts, coffee cakes, morning buns and cheese danishes are all available- basically, the bulk of the bakery menu. Luckily Starbucks boasts that it's pastries do not contain artificial flavors, artificial dyes, artificial trans fats or high-fructose corn syrup.

To get your free pastry before 10:30 am, order any handcrafted, iced or brewed drink and present the coupon on paper or on any mobile device...there's that justification for my iPhone again. :) The coupon can be found here.

Then after lunch, head on over to Ben & Jerry's for a free cone or cup of your favorite ice cream.

Yup, free cone/cup day is back! An annual tradition dating back to 1979, the year my fabulous hubby was born, founders offer the freebies as a way to thank patrons for making this mom & pop start-up the international phenom it is today. My all-time favorite is half baked which contains chocolate and vanilla ice creams mixed with fudge brownie and chocolate chip cookie dough but I always use free cone/cup day as an excuse to try a new flavor. I'm going to have a difficult time choosing today because this year I have scoops of options. New flavors include: Maple Blondie, Milk and Cookies, Peanut Brittle, Boston Creme Pie, Dulce Delish, Mud Pie and Chocowlate Chip.

Greaaaaaaaaat. Maybe I'll take Nick after I pick him up from school.

Enjoy fellow fat-asses! :)

Top O' the Mornin' to Ye Laddies!

2010-03-17T09:14:00.001-04:00

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.

In Left Field (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: parenting trials)

2010-03-16T12:38:00.009-04:00

I've reached another of those parenting trials that has me between a rock and a hard place.

Following a lengthy battle between my husband, the epitome of a baseball fan/former little leaguer, and I, the lifelong soccer player who's dying to be a soccer mom, Nick joined his first organized sports league last month.

$35 Soccer cleats
$18 shin guards
$20 soccer goal
$15 soccer ball

Finding out that the soccer team I was going to sign up my kid to is now full paving the way for my husband to get his way to sign up the kid to baseball instead- PRICELESS... :/

I shouldn't really complain, though; Nick loves playing baseball so the proverbial silver lining prevails. Apart from liking the sport, he's lost his fear of getting hit by the ball; learned to catch pop flies with his glove; and, can hit the ball when pitched to. Not bad for a first timer but he's no A-Rod (yet).

As adults, we take for granted that which has come to be ease after years of practice so my husband and I do get somewhat frustrated when we see him miss easy catches/plays/outs but my father-in-law, Nick's 3rd biggest fan (actual tallest fan), put Nick's new skills back into perspective for me at Nick's game last Saturday when he reminded me of the accomplishment by telling my husband and I (that) 'one of the hardest things to do in life is to hit a little ball with a stick when it's coming right at you'. I guess we shouldn't be so demanding because, again, it's only his first time playing organized sports.

I use the term organized loosely because the organization is somewhat lacking. The coaches miss practices 1/4 of the time. Of the times they show, they lack consistency and structured instruction. They let the kids practice hitting from tees only to be coach pitched at games. During the games, they swap the kids all over the field trying to find 'their' positions but do not practice the same placements.

The kids fight each other for balls. Some kids stare off at the sky while others dance on the field, mine included. They've lost all their games- and miserably at that, but are still told by the coaches that 'they won.' The coaches, while not very motivated, are VERY nurturing and encouraging to the kids but what of creating skill? Oh and regarding being encouraging- all but one that is.

One of the coaches is a complete a-hole but he is an a-hole to his son only; and thankfully so because if he ever spoke to Nick the way he does to his son, I would straight up kick his ass! He berates his little boy at every practice and every game. Day in and day out I hear him say 'you weren't fast enough,''you didn't hit right,''that was your ball' and the little boy always shrugs his shoulder. Would it kill him to throw one little 'nice try son' to his kid?

Sometimes I wonder though, if Gus and I are acting similarly with our expectations and suggestions.

I know I shouldn't expect much from a league consisting of 4 to 6 year olds but the $180 price tag for 2 months should buy something more than a uniform and fun, no? At the very least, a little instruction? Fun is important- don't get me wrong, but shouldn't he be learning HOW to play? Correctly? After all, these are lessons that could potentially make or break his future playing.

So herein lays my dilemma: should he stay or should he go?

There is another league, same age group, which his league plays against and they seem to have their stuff together. Their kids know where the plays go; where to run to; when to run; and most importantly, how to play together. Those kids appear to be having fun and the coaches are tough without being cretins.

+ what of separating him from his new friends?

Ay-ya-yay...the trials of parenting...and he's only 6!

And Then There Were Two...

2010-01-20T22:51:00.000-05:00

It's said that 'one is the loneliest number' and when it comes to being an only child, no sentiment is more accurate. As a child, I longed for a sibling and loathed my parents for not giving me one. God finally sent my sister to me- granted she was a tween and I was an adult when it happened, but it finally happened none-the-less and our relationship was/has been everything I ever wanted.

So I was somewhat disappointed when I half-heartedly settled to not having any more children after my son. I knew what I would be selfishly damning him to but as a single mom- happy to be a single mom, where the heck was I going to dig out a sibling from?

I never figured there would be more than one. Then again, I never figured I would find someone worthy not only of my hand but of raising my son alongside me and look how that's turned out...

I often laugh at the path my life has taken with regards to motherhood. I laugh because I was always so adamant about not wanting children and I resolved to having one at some point simply to make my mother a grandmother. I used to think kids were gross, smelly, obnoxious little creatures that had no place in my life. I laugh (hysterically) in hindsight because I never realized how incomplete my life really was until my first came along.

He was sent to save me- I wholeheartedly believe that; to save me from distractions; to save me from complacency; to save me from myself. Mostly though, I believe he was sent to teach me the true meanings of love and life.

And for the past 6 and a half years I've made it my sole purpose to make sure the blessing was revered.

How could I not, though? This little boy who filled voids I never knew existed in me is beyond amazing. He is so much more than just my son. He's my heart, my soul, my teacher, my legacy; he IS my improvement to this world.

I've learned volumes more than just parenting skills as his mother. I've learned humility, the value of hard work, patience, leading by example, lullabies, true love and how to show it all.

I love him more than I could ever put into words. I love my life but, mostly, I love being a mother- specifically, his mother. So when I found out my husband and I were expecting our second child, I was excited but I was also apprehensive.

I wasn't just scared from the concerns stemming from losing our previous pregnancy , I was also worried about whether or not I could love another child as much as I loved my son.

How could I ever love anyone as much I love him? I'm even convinced I love him more than I love myself!

I wondered not only of the possibility but also about where this extra love would come from and the concerns about my son feeling less loved were also at the forefront.

No, the pregnancy was not as memorable as with my first and yes, I did have a 'been there/done that' attitude regarding every milestone but involving my son in his sister's progress is what made this pregnancy as special as his was. I made sure to include him in 9 months of his sister's progress in my womb; made sure he felt her kick; saw her pictures; and, grew to love her as she herself grew. All the while my love growing for each of them.

Then the big day arrived and while there were complications which prevented my husband and I from being able to hold her until she was about 5 days old, the moment I first held her, I knew.

I knew I could love her as much. I knew I would love her brother no less. I finally knew the answer to my questions.

It was so simple.

It is so simple.

I didn't have to love him any less to make room for loving her.

The moment she came into this world, my heart simply grew.

Truth be told, I think my heart grew alongside her for those 9 months. While she technically grew under my heart for those 36 weeks, she also grew in it.

Miami Driving Guide: Somewhat Comical Survival Tips

2009-12-08T10:41:00.000-05:00

Oy vay, or 'alabado,' as Miamians say; where to start. I guess I can start by saying this public service announcement is brought to you courtesy of one part third trimester hormones/discomforts/nuances and two parts road rage thanks to piss-poor, inept Miami drivers...that and my husband's newfound desire to have me drive him to work daily.

For starters, while I'm not a driving instructor/professional, I am a Miami native and have been a licensed, practicing driver for more than half my lifetime so I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the topic. Barring a couple of speeding tickets whilst still a teenager and a ticket for unsafe equipment (too dark tinted windows), my driving record also speaks for itself as to safety and compliance. Sooooo, listen up!

Before I delve into tips and what should be common, if not 'COME ON,' sense while driving, I think you need to familiarize yourself with the basic make-up of Miami's drivers. I'd venture saying only 5% of Miami's drivers can actually drive correctly; 20% are immigrants who just last year (make that last month) were driving/riding a bicycle in a third-world country where paved roads, road signs/driving laws or cars manufactured in this century do not exist; 10% do not speak English which, in my opinion, poses a serious risk considering road and street signs are in English; 5% are freshly licensed, INEXPERIENCED, teenage drivers who think they are invincible and own the road; 2% are tourists, regardless of what language they speak, armed with (and looking at) a compass, a map and a magazine cover featuring Miami Beach's famed deco sights; 8% are taxi drivers who for some ungodly reason think that they are entitled to drive however they please because they drive bright yellow vehicles which should make them conspicuous; 10% are octogenarians with failing vision who can barely see over the steering wheel anyhow; 30% are people using cell phones; 5% are people distracted by some other object, be it a book/magazine/newspaper, shaver, mascara, burger (note: these people are most often county bus drivers); 3% are intoxicated, in addition to already belonging to one of the aforementioned groups and I don't just mean alcohol either; and lastly, 2 % percent are law enforcement officials, usually also on cell phones, driving just as erratically as everyone else instead of ticketing these unsafe drivers. Once you understand who/what's around you, you'll fair much better.

Highway Driving

When driving on any highway in Miami, consider that for the most part, they are always backed up with traffic. This means that you need to keep a constant eye on your rear-view mirror at all times. Traffic on these expressways is almost always caused by dumbasses who rear-end other drivers and the rubber necking that ensues. While it is called 'bumper to bumper' traffic, be sure to leave about a car's length between you and the stopped car in front of you.

If you're fortunate enough to be able to use a highway at some rate other than stop-and-go, consider the following:

- speed limits

- turning indicators when changing lanes

- 99.7% of all exits are on the right

If you are going to drive the speed limit, or anything below it, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, please use the far right lane. Slow drivers- not offensive drivers contrary to popular belief, are the most common cause of road rage in our city. People have to rapidly adjust their speed to something considerably slower to accommodate to the turtle pace and most are so annoyed at having to do so that they tail gate, flash high beams, honk and begin to weave in and out of traffic to get around a slow driver. As a general rule of thumb, I only use the left lane when passing and even then, I immediately shift back safely to my right as soon as I can, using a turning indicator to advise other drivers of course. Rarely will I drive continuously in the left lane and reserve such driving practices for two instances, and these two alone: 1) transporting injured (usually involving profuse bleeding) people to hospital emergency rooms, or 2)increased speeds due to trying to find a place to relieve the added pressure of a growing baby on my bladder. Trust me, it's much safer than having to drive while peeing yourself. Basically, just remember that the left lane is for the faster drivers.

When passing or changing lanes, use your indicator- DUH. It's amazing that I even have to mention it but make sure to use the left and right one accordingly. Similarly, don't trust indicators all that much. Many people don't seem to know a) their left from their right, or b) that their indicator is on (Note: these folks are usually the octogenarians.)

When exiting the highway, there is abso-FRIGGIN-lutely no excuse for cutting across 5 lanes of traffic within 100 ft of your exit. There are huge road signs, usually placed over traffic to make them highly visible, advising you of oncoming exits and proximity. Begin to shift to your right when you see mention of your exit so you can make it across safely. Slamming on your brakes or cutting off other cars is going to cause one of two things: a serious accident or a serious contusion courtesy of another driver's road rage. Either way, you'll be branded a dumbass on that night's evening news roundup.

Note: I would ordinarily comment regarding 'passing on the right,' however it is legal to pass on the right in Florida as long as there are two or more lanes of traffic traveling in the same direction which is true for every one of Miami's highways. Granted, it is safest to pass on the left but not illegal to do so on the right so try to do so sparingly.

Driving on Surface Roads

Lord. Lordy, Lord, Lord. Surface roads rank up there with screaming babies and waxing if you ask me. People ignore traffic signals, crosswalks and basic courtesy as a whole. Even though you're in a car, just pretend you're on a bike and always be aware of your surroundings, practicing the 'look left, right, then left again' method.

When at an intersection, if you happen to the be the first car at a signal, count to 5 before you accelerate at a green light. For some reason, most drivers seem to develop color blindness at signaled intersections- it might be an effect of the heat, who knows but the last thing you need is to be T-boned when you didn't take that insurance coverage on your rental. Remember, you want to be lounging poolside not in a hospital bed. Similarly, when approaching an intersection, if the signal turns yellow, look in your rear view mirror to see how closely the car behind you is following before slowing to stop. Often times, drivers see this yellow signal not as an advisement to stop, but rather a warning that they need to hurry because the light will soon be red. Here again, quite possibly an effect of the heat.

Also while at intersections, keep an eye out for pedestrians. These people, probably also due to the heat, develop suicidal tendencies when crossing roads. If you find yourself a pedestrian in Miami, just remember that the little white walking guy displayed on the electric crosswalk signs is your notice to cross safely; the red hand is not. The red hand is not motioning you forward, nor is it waving at you to say 'hi.' If you happen to be driving on Miami Beach, be especially vigilant as pedestrians are THE BIGGEST road hazard. The locals are 'locos' and the tourists are spaced out so watch out.

You also need to keep an eye out for other drives turning into your path. While it may be the law in Florida, or simply just a safe practice every where else in the country, the majority of Miami drivers are not aware that when turning, you turn left to left and right to right. Just in case you're clueless as to what this means, I'll explain. When turning left, you are to turn from the far left lane into the far left lane and accordingly when turning right. Trust me, you will see people making left turns from the far left lane into the far right, turning right from the far right lane into the far left and even turning right from the far left lane. It's crazy, yes I know, but now you do too.

Special notations deserve to be made about driving around buses, cyclists or any vehicle displaying a 'baby on board,' 'honor roll student' or other family oriented sticker. These three think the roads belong to them.

Bus drivers know that no one wants to be stuck behind them because of their excessively slow speeds and constant stops. It is actually a law that you have to allow a bus to merge into traffic so many of them use this as carte blanche to just jump out in front of oncoming traffic...and it works for them so be careful when you see a bus stopped roadside loading/unloading passengers as they will not await an opportunity to merge back into traffic but rather just make one for themselves.

Cyclists, regardless of what you may think, are not damned to taking sidewalks. They are actually prohibited from riding on sidewalks and belong on the street. Florida statutes provide that cyclists be allowed to use traffic lanes, as many as two (riders) wide, when riding. This means they have as much right to be in that lane as you do so treat them as you would any other vehicle. Additionally, the law provides that when passing a cyclist, you must leave no less than one outstretched arm's distance between your vehicle and the cyclist so pass accordingly. Now, cyclists are crazy and when wearing helmets, have more blind spots than a race horse so don't follow too closely and be prepared for sudden, erratic behavior.

Soccer moms, or vehicles bearing family/child oriented, 'warning' stickers are the biggest crazies out there! These drivers are ALWAYS preoccupied with their phones, changing DVDs in onboard media players, screaming children..you name it! What's more- they don't want other drivers within a 200ft radius of their precious cargo. Make note: these are the most common instigators of the 'slam on my brakes when you tailgate me' practice so here again, drive accordingly.

Lastly, while containing some pretty useful tips, this guide is purely satirical and just me poking fun at and relieving some of the stress caused by the madness I see daily on Miami roads. Heck, we don't continuously earn the reverence of being the country's worst drivers for dubious reasons, you know.

Oh yeah, BUCKLE UP. That is the law. In Florida, 'click it or ticket!'

Offspring Revelry

2009-11-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

Is there any greater feeling than the pride one feels when their children succeed?

I think not!

I have never felt more accomplished than I did yesterday as my gorgeous and intelligent beyond bounds 1st grader was presented with his (what I know will be the first of many) honor roll certificate.

Congratulations kiddo- mom and dad (and a whole slew of other folks) are very proud of you!

Architectural Association (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: mistaken identities, vol:2)

2009-08-25T14:53:00.000-04:00

Background info: while sitting on the floor at abuelo's house, putting together an obscene amount of lego vehicles Nick received for his birthday and watching CNN. Yes, I force the child to watch CNN. If I have to occasionally watch Hannah Montana, he has to occasionally watch CNN.

Story of interest: some Al Qaeda members captured with pictures of men in turbans flashed across screen.

Nick: Oh my gosh Mom! Look, they caught one of the pyramid men!!!

Abuelo and I: (looking at each other) Buwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Honestly, I sometimes wonder why I even need to watch TV considering the amount of entertainment this kid provides.

Toddlers and Tiaras- More Like Terror and Trash

2009-07-23T14:36:00.000-04:00

I have officially seen it all.

One of my favorite channels, TLC, has reached a new low- even for TV. Gone are the days when TLC was actually about LEARNING as it's named.

It used to have such cool shows about medical advances, complete with gory and bloody examples, and even frivolous fashion which was or was not helpful depending on your point of view. The shows have been replaced with PURE CRAP like the unreal Toddlers and Tiaras. I still don't understand how they can air shows like A Baby Story and have this trash on there as well. The Duggars should be insulted to be seen on their channel along with trash like Toddlers and Tiaras.

Before I go into a tirade about the show, I want to make it perfectly clear that my issue is not with pageants in general. Yours truly is a former Little Miss Sunburst. Thankfully my mother had the friggin' sense to pull me out of such nonsense when she saw what actually goes on behind the scenes.

She laughs as she tells me how she marched her ass on stage to pull a toddler me off when I won the award. Her motivation: other mothers yelling that their daughters were cuter, better, more talented, etc... Her eloquent response to judges who told her she couldn't do that: "You're crazy if you think I'm going to let my two year old stand there and be insulted by these idiots. Take your $2 piece of fabric and your rhinestone crown and shove it up your ass!" Sometimes I wish I had her candor, but I digress...

Some people chastise pageants because they say the girls are primped with make-up and outfits that make them look like baby prostitutes. Personally I think that's a bit extreme. You have to be a sick individual to see a little girl younger than 8 in a sexual light. Are there sickos out there? Yes, but not THAT many.

I think some of those skimpy outfits are no more or less than what you see on the same aged kids at the beach- minus the make-up, fake eyelashes and hair pieces, of course. But the garb and primping is not really unlike what normal mothers put on their daughters for innocent ballet recitals and gymnastics meets. I think it's pretty hypocritical to chastise a pageant because the little girls' costumes often consist of skin tight leotards while they are covered in make-up when any annual visit to see the Sugar Plum Fairy has young girls dressed in equally tacky and shiny outfits. Yes the pageants center around the superficial premise of beauty but a lead role in a ballet recital is attributed to the one that can raise her leg highest. Again, you have to be a sicko to interpret either of those as anything but cute.

Then there are those, like me, that center their gripes on that superficial premise of beauty. Unlike adult beauty pageants which regularly highlight a contestant's community involvement, kiddie pageants just judge these little girls on their looks and stage presence. First off, is it really a good idea to make a little girl's first lesson in life that you're no one unless you're pretty? Who wants to be an astronaut, a doctor, or even president (insert valley-girl like accent here) when you can be pretty and have a crown? Yuck. But wait- they have talent portions too, right?

Puhlease. Take a look at those talent sections. I'm sorry, but unless you have a baby prodigy the likes of Mozart or a Mensa card carrying toddler, you can't call those talents. Sure it's cute that their little princesses can sing the Star Spangled Banner while dressed in Betsy Ross' best, I give them that, but it's really just high-pitched vocals a la a Chucky doll. Now, if the vocals happen to attract sea life, I have to say that's a talent...

Also unlike adult beauty pageants, these little girls often have no choice regarding their participation- regardless of what mommy dearest says. Maybe I'm wrong and have led a somewhat sheltered life but I have never met a little girl that preferred to walk in circles and perfect a wave over playing at the park or having a tea party. (For the record, I preferred the park.) The pageants are overflowing with little girls throwing tantrums. Can you blame them though? Their mothers are slowly but surely killing them and the Ozone layer with their incessant hair spraying! Pageant moms of toddlers have to be the scariest thing out there. Your supposed to love your kids; teach them how to be good, productive members of society and instead the bulk of these women browbeat their toddler daughters for the sake of some cash and a rhinestone tiara that will ultimately do nothing but collect dust on a shelf.

Incidentally, this is going to sound completely assholish, like I care, but is it me or do all these "I was also a pageant participant as a kid' pageant moms get beaten with the proverbial ugly stick somewhere between participating in pageants and becoming mothers? Honestly, they are all grossly, I mean 'take up three seats on a plane' overweight, balding and have NASTY looking teeth? It's not nice to make fun of other people but it's pretty fucking ironic that THESE women are the ones forcing their daughters into situations where they are judged on superficial characteristics.

The bad words are coming out so I guess this is the point where I have to start explaining where my fervor/anger is coming from....

During my bout of insomnia last night, FML, I had the unpleasant experience of finding the repeat of the new season premier of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras. I admit, I wanted to watch because the show began with this cute little, JonBenet Ramsey look-alike, full of spunk and attitude which was too cute. Her mother, and the $70,000 she stated she's invested in her 4 yr old's pageant experiences was WAAAAAAAY over-the-top, but the little girl seemed to genuinely enjoy the pageants. Yes she threw a tantrum here and there but Nick throws tantrums at swim classes. The mom did seem loving and encouraging towards her daughter versus manipulative and domineering and even mentioned that her daughter hadn't been feeling well, was taking her to the doctor and pulling her from the pageant if she was sick; so she seemed like she was a good mom. She entertained/comforted her daughter with hairpiece adorned hand puppets, which I did find weird, but hey- Nick is comforted by a raggedy old bear he's had since birth. To each his own I guess- unless you're referring to the abomination of a mother that followed. The horrid Jamie Sterling.

This horse-mouthed bitch should be removed from the gene pool- IMMEDIATELY! This self-proclaimed former pageant queen, was the mother of 5 girls. Oy-vay, las pobres angelitas. The eldest were twins- 'fraternal' as the mother numerously noted. One of the twins, the one the asshole mother said 'looked most like mommy' (BreAnn), was 'the prettiest of all (her) daughters,' something she exclaimed loudly in front of all of them. The other twin, AshLynn, was this shy mouse of a girl- and it wasn't any wonder as to why after having watched the show.

The mother- crap I can't call her that because she's an insult to loving mothers everywhere; I'll call her douchebag from here on out. So, douchebag constantly told AshLynne that she walked, stood, smiled and spoke incorrectly. Douchebag encouraged BreAnn to shit on her twin by giving her the nicer crowns, outfits and even saying that BreAnn was better. Hell, when asked about pageants, BreAnne stated she loved them 'because she always got to beat (her) sister.' whereas AshLynn stated she 'wished (she) didn't have to do them because she didn't like competing against (her) sister.'

When they were looking at the dresses in the closets, AshLynn's dress had a ruffle torn from the bottom and douchebag went off on a rant about how the judges were going to take points away from her for it. The little girl started to cry but did douchebag comfort her? No way. She turned to BreAnn and told her not to worry that 'mommy had ordered her a pretty, new, special dress that was sure to win.' She looked at the sobbing twin and told her 'maybe I can sew your dress but I really don't have time' and walked off.

Dad was clearly the battered wife in that household although he somewhat redeemed himself later on in the show. He stated that he didn't agree with his wife's pageant aspirations for their daughters but he wanted to keep a unified parenting front. Are you fucking kidding me? Your wife is mistreating your kids and you prefer that over having your kids see you argue with your wife? WHAT A PUSSY! PUSSY! PUSSY! He even helps his wife put fake nails on their daughters as his wife screams at him for doing it all wrong.

The pageant was well, a pageant. Primped and shiny, life-sized dolls all over the place. Even one nutso with a two-week old infant, granted her 7 yr old seemed to be having fun and was generally well-rounded....for a pageant boy...Again, I digress.

Douchebag focused all her attention on BreAnne, who was a COMPLETE BRAT, for the duration of the pageant. Douchebag would smile big, as if there was any other type of smile for someone sharing Mr Ed's chompers, and encouraged BreAnn by standing in the front row, applauding and mimicking routines so BreAnn wouldn't get stuck. Douchebag showered BreAnn with accolades and compliments. In stark contrast, she would stand cross-armed and sour-faced when AshLynn was up and did nothing but criticize her and tell her she did things wrong. She never bothered fixing her dress and another pageant mom, upon seeing AshLynn upset, just cut it off. Poof! Problem solved and little girl smiling brightly in a matter of seconds- thanks to a stranger.

When BreAnn's bratty tantrums and bossy nature got to be too much to handle, and honestly- you couldn't help disliking this little brat thanks to douchebag, Dad finally grew a pair. He pulled her from the pageant and that was that. Douchebag was pissed. So was I when AshLynn was 2nd runner up and BreAnne was 1st. Luckily, Dad punished her so she missed out on the crowning ceremony; that, and AshLynn won the Director's Choice. The pageant director announced loudly that she was impressed with how AshLynn carried herself and tried so hard. She told AshLynn that she received the 'special' award and that she had been her favorite. Douchebag's comment- 'of course I never expected it. AshLynn was terrible and BreAnn was the winner.'

I really dislike douchebag Jamie Sterling- REALLY.

Even though Dad finally grew a pair at the end of the show and pulled bratty BreAnn from the show AND AshLynn won the Director's Choice in show including the super-sized trophy and handful of balloons, douchebag still tried to demean her. As AshLynn offered her douchebag-in-the-making sister BreAnn her balloons to comfort the spoiled little brat, the sister replied 'you didn't win. I beat you. Mommy told me I did better!' I cheered as Ashlynn removed BreAnn's arm from her shoulder when she said that. FYI: the twins are 6.

Someone please find this little girl-AshLynn, and take her away from this horrible douchebag bitch. My heart aches for this unknown little girl who deserves to be loved. I want to find her and cover her in kisses, toys, cupcakes and if she wants, I'll buy her a HUGE tiara just for her although I'm pretty sure she won't want one and that's perfectly fine with me.

This sorry ass, douchebag of a mother from nowheresville deserves to have her nose rubbed in cat shit for hours. She is living proof that being ugly is not just skin deep.

Incidentally, I joined this group on Facebook today.

Ch-ch-chia Obama

2009-07-11T23:08:00.000-04:00

Looks like Santa is getting my list early this year!

Even I can't resist this.

There are two versions available for preorder: Happy and Determined.

Sand between my toes

2009-06-25T08:51:00.000-04:00

I'm at a loss for words and really, where I am, I don't need them.

Coupon Girl Strikes Again

2009-06-19T12:31:00.000-04:00

No one believes me but I save a fortune. The savings actually allow me to take Nick wherever, whenever I/he wants. Money isn't everything but without it, it's difficult to do anything; and what else is more special than watching my son enjoy all this world has to offer?

Thanks coupon world.

Kendall mom Suzy 'Newhouse' is where Samtur was way back then. Her husband's hours were cut sharply back in November, so the family had to find a way to save money.

LITTER BOXES

''I actually look at the circulars now. I used to line my kitty litter boxes with them,'' said 'Newhouse,' who has been dubbed the Coupon Girl by the manager at the Winn-Dixie where she shops.

'Newhouse,' who has a 6-year-old son, now spends about a half-hour planning her shopping, looking at the sales and printing and clipping coupons before she goes to the store. She has reduced a typical grocery bill of $120 to $40.

A recent coup: Kraft Barbecue Sauce was on sale -- buy one, get one free. The sauce cost 89 cents. 'Newhouse' had a coupon for $1. The store actually gave her the 11-cent difference.

''For as easy as it is,'' she said, ``a lot of people should be doing it.''

Laugh out loud!!!

2009-06-13T17:11:00.000-04:00

Usually, Adult Swim and SNL Shorts are my favorite sources of bust your a$$ laughing silliness in skits, videos and cartoons but this takes the cake.

I'll take this moment to thank youtube, ebaumsworld and hulu...although hulu kills it with those ads, for keeping me laughing while sick.

Enjoy!!!

Donation Drive for Needy Family

2009-06-12T17:41:00.000-04:00

So y'all (may or may not) know that I participate in the Herald's online forum for moms and it really is a great resource.

Case in point:

Today another sad story was brought to our attention and this one really pulled at our heart strings.
Featured in today's Herald (see story here) is a story of an unemployed, widower who is raising his 4 kids on his own. His wife passed away from cancer last year and his 16yr old daughter is completely disabled- mentally and physically, including having to use diapers.

Any of you with children knows the expense which having a child in diapers brings. Tack on the fact that this man is unemployed, caring for the rest of his children AND DCF refuses to contribute to his disabled daughter's special needs, and this suddenly becomes a life and death situation not only for this father but for these children as well.

As a mother, the story breaks my heart. As a tax-payer, it infuriates me to know there are people defrauding the system when others with REAL needs get passed over...and apparently, I'm not the only one.

Because of this, a group of local mothers and I have agreed to start a collection through the month of June to see what we can do. I know times are tough but one look at this story and you realize you are truly blessed.

Here's what this family needs:

Diapers: Brand= GOOD NIGHT (Pull Up Style) Size L-XL (60-125lb) The diapers don't really have to be brand specific however this young lady weighs 95lb so if you go with another brand just make sure it will fit a child of that size.

Clothes for the three daughters (detailed below)
Sharet (Severely Disabled, 16 yr old Daughter): Clothing Size 14 Shoe Size 5 1/2 women's
Kayana (8yr old): Clothing Size 10 Shoe Size 1 1/2
Kayata (5yr old): Clothing Size 6 Shoe Size 11 (kids)

Toiletries (Basic Hygiene)
House Cleaning supplies

I PLEAD that if you can spread the word at your place of employment (like my former RCCL pals who ALWAYS give), you do so. If you can donate, please contact me. I will be HAPPY to pick up the items myself or you can drop them off at my mom's bf's dollar store- JAD Discount which is located at 4258 SW 152nd Ave in Miami, if you can call that extreme west Kendall section 'Miami'...anyone interested in actually seeing Ma Dukes- she's there on the weekends only.

Donations will also be accepted at my father's Dunkin Donuts in North Miami- 5130 Biscayne Blvd. and he's open 24 hrs.

While we are asking mainly for supplies, monetary donations will also be accepted however please note that any cash donated will used to purchase more supplies.

I'm not asking you to give because God will reward you- because there's no more proof of that than there is proof of Leprechauns. I'm asking you to donate because if it was you, you'd appreciate the same.

How to Make the Perfect Tostones. Period.

2009-06-12T01:31:00.001-04:00

Prior to the advent of Nick, I used to go out with my single, childless pals nightly. Nightly. After his arrival, I lost interest in all things club/bar/alcoholish and my closest pals really took this to heart.

They would complain about how they never got to see me anymore so I gathered the few I considered true friends and created a weekly dinner at my house on Thursdays called Family Dinner.

The menu varied weekly and I admit, it was a way for me to practice and share my love of and prowess in the kitchen...not to mention my friends were always eager to come. Now those dinners include more folks 'cuz we've incorporated hubby's most cherished as well.

One of the menu items requested most often and complimented to the nines was- is tostones. I say 'is' because they were requested again for last night's dinner and did not fail to impress.

If you have no idea what a toston is then a) you're missing out and b) you don't know any Latinos- specifically Cubans. While tostones are not really specific to Cubans, I am of Cuban descent, they are a Cuban staple AND my Cuban grandmother taught me how to make 'em.
So by default, to me, they are Cuban.

Tostones, pronounced toes-toe-nays, are nothing more than twice fried, green plantains. Yet, for as easy as I think they are to make, some people have difficulty making them and always ask me why mine taste so good.

I admit, a good toston is more complex than just cutting a plantain and frying it but it's not rocket science either. Apart from the mojo with which they are customarily served, certain prep and cooking techniques are what I find key when making the perfect tostones.

Ingredients

Green plantains (the greener the better- they cannot be ripe)
Water
Salt
Vegetable oil

I can't stress enough the importance of the plantains being green. If you get ripe ones, you end up with maduros, a totally different side dish. Your best bet is buying them the day of.

First you'll want to peel the plantains. This isn't as easy as it sounds, though and totally different from peeling a regular ole banana. Sometimes the peel gets stuck to the plantain. You'll first want to chop the ends off. The best way to get that peel off is to slice it, making sure to not cut into the actual plantain. Slice the peel in half by making two lengthwise cuts on each plantain. Then take the tip of the knife, or your nice manicured nail, and work a corner piece of peel off making sure to keep the peel intact. The stick your fingertip or nail underneath the bed of the peel, running lengthwise along the plantain. The peel will come off slowly.

After you've peeled your plantains, you'll want to cut them in 1/2" to 1" thick pieces.

Then, and this is what I think is key, fill a bowl with water and salt and place the cut up plantains in the mixture and let it sit there. Watch TV, gab on the phone, or just continue other menu items like I do. I let them sit in there for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour.
Note: anything longer than that and you'll want to stick your bowl with plantains in the fridge or your plantains will start turning black.

When you're ready to fry your plantains, heat up enough oil in a pan/skillet to cover half the length of your cut plantains. Turn the burner on high and wait for the oil to heat up.

Plop as many cut plantains as you can into your pan/skillet. Fry them for about 5 minutes on each side until they are a light golden color (raw plantain is whitish).

Then remove them from the oil and place them on a paper towel to absorb excess oil.

Then use a plantain apparatus- like a tortilla press, although the palm of your hand and some wax paper will do just fine just make sure to wear a glove or something if using your hand as these puppies are H O T, to flatten the plantain chunk.

I use a cute wooden apparatus and truth be told, my sous chef helps me squash 'em.

Once you've flattened your plantains to about 1/4" thickness, return them to your skillet until they are really golden on both sides. I like to add a little salt directly on to each plantain at this stage.

Once again, remove them from the skillet and drain them on some paper towels. Place them on a platter and step back as your guests attack the serving dish.

You can garnish them with any number of things but my grandmother's SUPER SECRET mojo recipe is undoubtedly the best in my unbiased opinion...I could tell you what it is but you'd have to marry me (bigamy is illegal in Florida) or someone else in my family first.

Tostones go well with anything- even alone but on this night they were a side dish to Arroz Imperial, and since there was equal interest, maduros.

You're an idiot (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re:developing a thick skin)

2009-06-12T00:38:00.000-04:00

It's not easy going through life with a funny last name. It's not easy at all but even I have to admit, it sure helps you sort the trash from the treasure. Well that and you learn how to defend yourself which is always helpful.

As a kid, the other kids would tease me about my last name- Newhouse. They'd call me oldhouse, bluehouse, redhouse, (insert term here)house and would always laugh hysterically after they said it. It took me a while to realize the majority of these people simply felt inferior to me for one reason or another and were just trying to feel better about themselves by bringing someone else down. When I finally did come to the realization, things got easier because I would just retort with laughing in their faces which really seemed to infuriate some.

So when Nick explained why he had been disciplined at camp for teasing another kid and the reasoning behind his teasing, I knew just how to handle it.

As I picked him up from summer camp today, his very young camp counselor shyly advised me that he had been calling other kids 'idiots' and she had to punish him. I thanked her and walked hand in hand with my little name caller back to our car.

Why were you calling the other kids idiots?

You don't understand mom. When they were calling our names this morning, the kids laughed when they said my last name and started calling me oldhouse.

I don't understand? Trust me baby, I know more than you give me credit for.

Actually I do understand. When I was little, kids used to say the same thing to me. They used to say all kinds of things- oldhouse, bluehouse, redhouse, smellyhouse. People can be mean huh?

Yes that's why I called them idiots.

But that wasn't very nice and you did the same thing to them that they did to you. You acted like an idiot too. Why would you call them idiots?

Dad told me to.

.....
What? Dad told you to call them idiots?

Yes mom. Dad told me if anyone called me a name to tell them they were idiots.

.....(shocked my husband would give such horrible parenting advice and thinking what to say)
Even if someone is an idiot, you don't have to tell them. Like I said, then you're acting like that too. Let me ask you a question- is your name oldhouse?

No.

Then why did you answer?

Because they were talking to me.

No, you just said your name is not oldhouse. Your name is Nick Newhouse so unless someone calls you Nick or Newhouse, you don't need to answer because that's not your name. Pretty silly, answering to someone else's name- don't you think?

I guess but what do I do if someone calls me names?

You should do nothing because your friends will never call you names and anyone that does, is not important. If you really want to say something, just ask them "didn't your mom teach you not to open your mouth unless you have something nice to say?" or tell them that the correct way to say your name is 'Newhouse.'

Does that work mom?

Not really but does it matter what people who are not your friends think?

And yes, Dad was disciplined too for telling him to call other kids idiots although it turned out Dad simply said people like that were idiots. He never attached instructions to retort with name calling.

"Judge not, that ye be not judged."

2009-06-10T23:11:00.000-04:00

I am Catholic- by birth and by choosing. I'm even raising my child in the Catholic faith yet my life has been nothing but ubiquitous tests of said faith so I often wonder why I'm continuing the tradition.

It started young- REAL young.

In Sunday school, and before I was old enough to understand the implication, I was told my mother and father had been excommunicated because they were divorced. Not understanding the severity or nature of the term, I always wanted my mother to attend church with me and would get angry when she refused. It was later that I understood why she didn't and the roots of the proverbial Catholic guilt began to dig in.

And it was because of her that my faith was tested again. In my preteen years, her addiction to cigarettes compiled with her age made her unable to carry another child or continue to take birth control pills to avoid it(also a no-no back then). Her only options- death or having her tubes tied. That was paramount to abortion back then and my junior high school principal, writhing in agony from her own fertility issues, made sure to tell me my mother was going to hell. At the ripe age of 11, I was horrified by the mental image of my mother burning in the fiery pits depicted in our colorful religion books.

High school brought a barrage of tests and questions as well however none more than when a VERY talented actress posed and published a very tasteful and artistic photograph. Demi Moore was branded a whore by my theology teacher- a WHORE...and what for? For covering her breasts and privates in a picture where she shared God's most precious blessing- her pregnant body au NATURALE. To this day, I still can't understand what planet a person is from to think that a pregnant woman is anything but a beautiful, living masterpiece courtesy of the Lord.

As I got older, my faith was further tested when my home parish was remodeled. There was nothing wrong with the building- structural or otherwise and it's not like the church was made bigger either. Nope, we got new cushioned pews, ornate lighting fixtures, fresh coats of paint and new vestments for the clergy. Meanwhile, the school remained overcrowded, cramped and understaffed.

In college, I cursed God for the first time. I lost a friend in a horrific car accident. He was such a special person- the epitome of good. This guy busted his ass for his studies; worked multiple jobs so his already struggling family did not have to go without just so he could better himself and contribute to them. He wanted nothing more than to be able to take care of his family. He never spoke badly of anyone. He never stayed out all night- heck, he hardly went out because he was always buried in those books. His head, like his heart, was in the right place.

Then, like a cruel joke, God decided to make him a victim- a victim of a drunk, punk kid with no license, who was too young to be driving anyhow and right after Christmas no less. The nail in the proverbial coffin was my friend's father announcing, at his funeral, that he had received his son's first semester grades the morning after his son died. He wept, along with everyone else in that small room, when he shared that Charlie had made the Dean's Honor Roll. Meanwhile, the scum kid who killed not only Charlie but two others that night besides paralyzing his own friend, was walking freely to commit more crimes. I couldn't understand how God could- WOULD be so cruel.

Yet even with all that, the biggest test of my faith came when I visited the epicenter of all things Catholic- St Peter's Basilica in the Vatican. As impressive as it was, this, by far, remains the most damning and disappointing event of my life.

NEVER have I seen such opulence. There is no question in mind that the Vatican's status amongst rich countries is due not to it's small size or population, but to sheer greed and hypocrisy. If you've never seen it, then you won't understand.

See, the issue we Catholics hear most doesn't have to do with life or even Jesus himself; it's helping those less fortunate. "Give, give, give" we're told. "Don't give what you can. Give what you have and you will be rewarded" and so we do- giving all that we have at multiple collections and while I have no paper trail to prove the church doesn't pocket the majority of what it takes in, I have no other explanation but greed for what I saw there.

Marble- floor to 452 ft high ceiling marble, 5.7 acres of it; Gold- pillars and decorative structural accents; A monument by Bernini which is nothing more than a 98ft tall Bronze sculpture; a multitude of HUGE holy relics and gold plus jewel encrusted tombs of former popes, roman emperors, a composer and European royalty.

Then there's the Vatican museum and I admit, it was breathtaking but I was awed more by the absolute splendor found within it's walls than with it's historical significance. Yes, Michaelangelo's 12,000 ft of fresco on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is one of the most impressive things I've ever seen but so were the wall to wall, glass enclosures which housed golden bibles, chalices and other relics with obscene amounts of jewels- and I'm not talking ruby here, ruby there. No way, The rocks I saw would make the Heart of the Ocean blush.

Where did they get off keeping these majestic wonders and CHARGING to let people see them when all they did was ask the faithful for money they claimed not to have so they could help less fortunate?

And the icing on the cake- A GIFT SHOP; a friggin' gift shop featuring everything from inexpensive cards depicting saints to majestic, thousand dollar artwork blessed by none other than the pope himself. If Jesus hadn't ascended into heaven, I guarantee you he'd be crawling out of that grave given the passages in the bible where Jesus flipped over tables of riches.

And if that weren't enough, what about the faithful? We're no different.

The only thing I can say with absolute certainty is that for a bunch of people who pray for and preach compassion, forgiveness and tolerance, we sure are a judgmental, close-minded, hard-headed bunch- the irony.

CaseS in point:

Take for example the same-sex marriage issue. Marriage is a beautiful thing. It's when two people decide to share every little thing...forever. Yeah, not if you're Adam and Steve. Try and tell Catholics otherwise and you're sure to receive a severe tongue lashing.

Also a hypocritical point of view, the issue of life. I have never understood how people who defend the right to life, with the fervor which they do, can turn around and kill an abortionist or innocent bystander in the name of God. Isn't the right to life, regardless of whose life it is, something Catholics preach that everyone deserves?

And then there's the way the Catholic church defends/protects it's own while spitting on all that is innocent under the guise that the urge to molest a child a is a mental disorder. Castrate 'em and put in a padded room then but don't issue a hefty payout to a victim as if that heals all wounds and then transfer the pedophile to another church where he can hurt more children.

At this point, every day is a question of my faith. From the 'Why do bad things happen to good people," to the "Why did God create free will if it only lets us stray from the path he supposedly wants for us?"

I bet if my high school theology teacher could read this, she'd judge me and insult me, repeating what she told me all those years ago when I questioned her as to why God would obligate a married couple who simply fell out of love to remain in a loveless marriage for the sake of the sacrament: 'you're a blasphemer.'

Regal Cinemas Free Family Film Festival

2009-06-08T12:30:00.000-04:00

Let the FREE summer fun begin.

Many parents are foregoing summer camp this year because they simply can't afford the expense. That and they're no longer working making summer camp unnecessary. Yet how how can we keep them entertained without driving us crazy or making us spend $$$$?

If it's a Tuesday or Wednesday, I recommend you take them to your nearest Regal Cinema.
Regal Cinema has been offering free family, summer movie fun since 1991!

Basically, every Tuesday and Wednesday for the next 9 weeks, Regal Cinemas will offer select G & PG rated movies for free at 10 AM. The service is first come, first serve and is limited ot theater capacities so remember to arrive early.

What a deal, huh?

Below are the area Regal Cinemas and their scheduled movies:

Palace 18 11865 SW 26th Street Miami ,FL 33175 305-221-3402
06/09/2009-06/10/2009	Mr. Bean's Holiday (G)
	Madagascar 2: Escape To Africa (PG)
06/16/2009-06/17/2009	Arctic Tale (G)
	Igor (PG)
06/23/2009-06/24/2009	Everyone's Hero (G)
	Kung Fu Panda (PG)
06/30/2009-07/01/2009	Charlotte's Web (G)
	Shrek The Third (PG)
07/07/2009-07/08/2009	The Tale Of Despereaux (G)
	Bee Movie (PG)
07/14/2009-07/15/2009	Space Chimps (G)
	Alvin And The Chipmunks (PG)
07/21/2009-07/22/2009	Horton Hears A Who (G)
	Nim's Island (PG)
07/28/2009-07/29/2009	Curious George (G)
	Spiderwick Chronicles (PG)
08/04/2009-08/05/2009	Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (G)
	Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep (PG)

Southland Mall Stadium 16 20505 S Dixie Hwy Suite 1301 Miami ,FL 33189 305-251-7448
06/09/2009-06/10/2009	Mr. Bean's Holiday (G)
	Madagascar 2: Escape To Africa (PG)
06/16/2009-06/17/2009	Arctic Tale (G)
	Igor (PG)
06/23/2009-06/24/2009	Everyone's Hero (G)
	Kung Fu Panda (PG)
06/30/2009-07/01/2009	Charlotte's Web (G)
	Shrek The Third (PG)
07/07/2009-07/08/2009	The Tale Of Despereaux (G)
	Bee Movie (PG)
07/14/2009-07/15/2009	Space Chimps (G)
	Alvin And The Chipmunks (PG)
07/21/2009-07/22/2009	Horton Hears A Who (G)
	Nim's Island (PG)
07/28/2009-07/29/2009	Curious George (G)
	Spiderwick Chronicles (PG)
08/04/2009-08/05/2009	Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (G)
	Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep (PG)

Kendall Village Stadium 16 8595 S.W. 124 Avenue Miami ,FL 33183 305-596-6647
06/09/2009-06/11/2009	Mr. Bean's Holiday (G)
	Madagascar 2: Escape To Africa (PG)
06/16/2009-06/18/2009	Arctic Tale (G)
	Igor (PG)
06/23/2009-06/25/2009	Everyone's Hero (G)
	Kung Fu Panda (PG)
06/30/2009-07/02/2009	Charlotte's Web (G)
	Shrek The Third (PG)
07/07/2009-07/09/2009	The Tale Of Despereaux (G)
	Bee Movie (PG)
07/14/2009-07/16/2009	Space Chimps (G)
	Alvin And The Chipmunks (PG)
07/21/2009-07/23/2009	Horton Hears A Who (G)
	Nim's Island (PG)
07/28/2009-07/30/2009	Doogal (G)
	Spiderwick Chronicles (PG)
08/04/2009-08/06/2009	Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (G)
	Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep (PG)

Movies @ The Falls 12 9000 S.W. 136Th Street Miami ,FL 33176 305-255-5491
06/09/2009-06/11/2009	Mr. Bean's Holiday (G)
	Madagascar 2: Escape To Africa (PG)
06/16/2009-06/18/2009	Arctic Tale (G)
	Igor (PG)
06/23/2009-06/25/2009	Everyone's Hero (G)
	Kung Fu Panda (PG)
06/30/2009-07/02/2009	Charlotte's Web (G)
	Shrek The Third (PG)
07/07/2009-07/09/2009	The Tale Of Despereaux (G)
	Bee Movie (PG)
07/14/2009-07/16/2009	Space Chimps (G)
	Alvin And The Chipmunks (PG)
07/21/2009-07/23/2009	Horton Hears A Who (G)
	Nim's Island (PG)
07/28/2009-07/30/2009	Doogal (G)
	Spiderwick Chronicles (PG)
08/04/2009-08/06/2009	Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (G)
	Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep (PG)

For additional Florida locations, or to find a Regal Cinema in your state, please visit Regal Online.

Going, Going, Gone! A Miami Staple is No More.

2009-05-30T14:59:00.000-04:00

Every weekend the dilapidated Flagler Dog Track's empty parking lot comes alive. Hundreds of vendors set up shop in anticipation of potential customers. Paying $1 each for admission, upwards of 10,000 budget conscious consumers brave rain or shine in hopes of saving a buck or two. Billed as the largest flea market in Miami-Dade county, the Flagler Dog Track's weekly flea market has attracted hundreds of thousands since it's inception some 26 years ago.

That is, every weekend until now.

Today was the last day of the Flagler Flea Market and even the skies opening up didn't keep the crowds away.

Some of the general merchandise available ranges from new items like furniture, jewelry, clothing and novelty items to toys as well as produce and even pets. You can also find used items and religious relics. But unlike shopping at a retail outlet, you can even negotiate pricing here.

While I haven't shopped at the Flagler Flea Market since I purchased some finches for my father a few years back, I have fond memories of going there as a child with my mom. It once had a carnival for children. I remember riding mini-ferris wheels and sliding down slides in potato sacks; eating pinchos and drinking guarapo. It was odd walking through there today and knowing this would be the last time ANYONE could- would do so. Many people were upset by the closing.

"Sure I can buy new towels at K-Mart across the street," says Maria Jimenez, an area resident, "but not at a $1 each. I understand everyone needs to make money which is why they are making the casino but this used to be a place to save money and now they're turning it into a place to lose money which is only going to hurt the community- especially with the way the economy is now. I think it's very ugly what they are doing to us and the vendors and I hope their casino fails."

And she's not alone. In addition to many bargain hunters, I heard many vendors complaining about the market's closure as well.

"$1.00 for a pack of Strawberries. $1.00 for 6 green peppers. All you have to do is walk across the street to Winn Dixie to see the kinds of savings we offer here," said a flustered Jose Guerras as he showed me his fresh produce. "I hope people realize what a disservice has been done to the community because of the track's greed."

Vendors are irate because they feel they've been duped by the Flagler Race Track's management. Just last year, the vendors were coerced into voting for the new slots by being told the income would allow management to keep the flea market operational only to be told differently now; And although management has stated the closure is temporary and that they will be allowing the vendors to return after completion of the construction, vendors have little faith and I can't say I blame them.

Looking around, I realized just how many people are going to truly suffer because of the flea market's closing from families that will have to do without certain items because they can't afford retail pricing to families that are losing their source of income.

It was at that moment, as I watched a little boy skip by while holding a bag of goldfish, that I understood their frustration.

This wasn't just a flea market. It was a staple of the community, like the Orange Bowl, that's now nothing more than a memory.

It's the Little Things that Count! (excerpt 'Raising Nick,' re: friendships)

2009-05-29T11:26:00.000-04:00

Background info: Nick sitting at dining room table, coloring.

Me: That's nice. Is that for me?

Nick: No, Mom; this is for Celeste.

Me: Celeste?

Nick: Yes, mom. Look what happened: Talyana was coloring and she didn't know how to color something so Celeste helped her and when Talyana was done, she gave her paper to Jazmin.

Me: So?

Nick: Celeste was sad that Talyana didn't give it to her. She put her head down on her desk and started to cry because she was sad.

Me: I guess that wasn't so nice, huh?

Nick: No. That's why I'm coloring this for Celeste- so she is happy.

..........

Wise beyond his years, this kid. I'm amazed by the lessons I learn from him and proud that at such a young age, he already knows how to be a selfless friend.

Barefoot on the Beach: Clean-up

2009-05-29T08:36:00.001-04:00

I had stitches for the first time when I was six. I was playing on the beach and cut open my finger with a piece of glass. It was pretty scary watching blood gush from my thumb and seeing my mother freak out. 28 years later, the scar is bright as day and I sift through sand before letting my son play it when at the beach.

I know the dangers of trash on beaches endanger much more than just the environment. That's why I know where I'll be next weekend. I'll be on mid-beach helping make Miami Beach barefoot friendly!

When: Saturday, June 6th, 2009
Time: 10:00am – 1:00pm
Where: 52nd Street at La Gorce Drive- meet at the dunes.

There will be evening festivities celebrating the clean-up efforts later that night at the Quicksilver store located at 750 Collins Ave from 8 to 10 pm.

Won't you join me?

Please visit www.BarefootBeachRescue.com to RSVP!

After Losing a Baby

2009-05-27T11:48:00.000-04:00

We lost the baby...such an odd term as if a baby could ever be misplaced and while we lost our baby a few months ago, the constant reminders sometimes make it difficult to move forward.

The hurt and anger is too much some days- seeing friends who are pregnant and listening to them daydream about the same things I SHOULD be daydreaming about is bittersweet. I am so grateful that the Lord has blessed them but at the same token, fiercely envious, making me quiet and reserved- which my friends always notice causing even more tension.

I haven't even been able to see my cousin's newborn because I can't guarantee that my tears will be joyous. He's outgrown his newborn gift and the beautiful blue diaper cake I made for him from what seemed like a gazillion newborn diapers. I'm terrified of breaking down.

Things like receiving e-mail blasts from pregnancy sites that I signed up for when we found out we were pregnant in December, canceling our baby registry, medical websites and fertility forums are what fill my days now. I miss when my days were filled with daydreams of my husband's face seeing our newborn; of Nick playing with his little brother or sister; or even with just Nick's daydreams.

He would say that he wanted a little sister because a little brother would take his toys; that he would teach her how to swim and ride a bike but that she could not touch his new computer.

Fielding well-intended comments from those who really do love us- regardless of how uncomfortable or inappropriate the topic may be, is something that gets my goat regularly.

Sure, "I'm young." Sure, "it's fun to make babies." Sure, "there will be a next time"- but it was supposed to be THIS time. The utter elation I once felt was taken out back, shot, beaten, abused, burned and left outside to be picked over by scavengers. My dream turned into a nightmare overnight- literally!

I WANT OUR BABY.
I miss my baby.

I think about where I would be in my pregnancy- I would know the sex by now; have ultrasound pictures; be planning a baby shower; setting up a nursery; having Nick kiss my belly...sometimes the thoughts come hourly and some times my sadness gives me a reprieve and my thoughts are elsewhere- but not often.

Sometimes the reprieve comes in the form of anger, though; anger towards God, my body, nature but mostly the people who caused me strife and discomfort early in my pregnancy. The people I blame for the loss.

Thoughts of reciprocity fill my head- that they lose their children; that they suffer the agony of the emergency procedure to clean out my uterus after the loss which had me doubled over, on the floor, in pain; that they see their grandmothers weep inconsolably because of the loss; that their ugly attitudes and actions are repaid to them at least twice over. I really wish these things- with every fiber of my being and then I realize how unhealthy those thoughts are.

For one, losing this baby affected more people than just me. My husband, my parents, my grandparents, other relatives, friends, son...and when I think of him, I feel worse.

He's so young but wise beyond his years.

"The baby died, mommy? I'm sorry," as he walks ups and hugs me. "It's O.K."

How could I wish this same pain on innocent people like him?

How can I be filled with such hatred?
Me? I laugh off EVERYTHING.

When will this get easier?

I stopped praying to God for the answers, for peace, for the misery to end. I've been taught that only those that can survive His tests are tested and that's what this is.

I think of a friend who is experiencing a more recent loss and how she called upon me for advice, comfort, a "you've been there" voice; how everything she said was a page from my mind; How sorry I was that she was experiencing this. I cried quietly as she asked me how could she tell her son who asked about the baby daily.

I think of my husband who often thinks about it but tries to be strong. At first, he would hide his grief in the bathroom or closet; my grandmother who calls me every day to tell me she prayed for me; my father who had nothing but a barrage of medical questions following the loss; my sister who wants nothing more than to be a godmother; my best friend who secretly hopes she can share another pregnancy with me and wanted to use this pregnancy as motivation to convince her hubby for baby #2; my husband's grandmother, who can only see out of one eye, and wants nothing more than to see her first great-grandchild; my sister-in-law who was beyond words; my mother-in-law who could hardly contain her joy; my mother. My mother- an already strained relationship made worse.

I think of how MANY people I (can) strengthen with my faith and disposition. How many people are sad because they see my sadness. Things have got to change.

I've always agreed that happiness has MUCH more to do with disposition than it does circumstance. You make your own happiness.

So lately I pray to God for the strength to not hate the people whose stress I know in my heart caused this loss. I pray for the anger to subside. I pray for the courage to try again. I pray for happiness again.

And it seems to be working because I can talk about the loss more openly now. That and I walk a little slower. I spend more time dilly-dallying with Nick. I spend more time cuddling with my husband. I spend more time listening to rain drops and cats purring. I smile as I listen to my grandmothers tell me, for the umteenth time, of their lives in Cuba.

I was so blinded by the sorrow of my loss that I lost sight of the causes of my happiness.

Thank you Lord for reminding me of what-who's important....but You still could've done it in a different way.

Operation Medicine Cabinet

2009-05-26T13:06:00.000-04:00

The Broward Sheriff’s Office and the United Way of Broward County’s Commission on Substance Abuse have partnered in hopes of curbing an increasingly popular and SCARY trend: prescription drug abuse. Prescription drugs rank second only to marijuana in usage.

Many teens turn to mom and dad's ailments when supporting their habits. Often confused by the misconception that prescription drugs and over-the-counter drugs are safer than illegal narcotics, many of today's young drug abusers prefer the highs available from bottles. Nothing could be further from the truth though. Studies have actually shown that prescription drug abuse can lead to paranoia, addiction, seizures and death.

Given those consequences, Broward officials are hoping their latest project will actually make a difference.

Operation Medicine Cabinet, as it's called, will provide people with the opportunity to dispose of their unused medications in a safe way in exchange for some cold, hard cash. This Saturday, May 30th, you can drop off your old medicines or pharmaceutical items and collect a $5 gift card between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., while supplies last. Drop-off locations are:

• Tamarac Community Center, 8601 W. Commercial Blvd., Tamarac

• Broward Sheriff’s Office, Cooper City District office, 10580 Stirling Road, Cooper City

Area CVS, Walgreens and Wal-Mart pharmacies have also jumped onboard. They are supporting the effort by also offering their own $5 gift card to anyone discarding their unwanted or unused medicines.

Broward officials will be destroying ALL items collected.

For more information on “Operation Medicine Cabinet”, call (800) 334-4568 or visit www.drugfreebroward.org.

Summer Reading Rewards from Barnes &Noble

2009-05-26T11:02:00.000-04:00

I was planning on spending my summer in the pool and at the library with Nick so reading about this promo was just icing on the cake.

My 2nd favorite store, Barnes and Noble, started their summer reading program today.
Basically, kids get a free book as a reward for reading 8 books.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

I 'yay' because Nick is finally into reading- books, magazines, signs, mail, and this is a great ~~bribe~~ reward! Well that and his teacher told me he is reading at a much higher level than the rest of the kindergarten kiddies so I want to make sure he doesn't lose interest or ability during the summer.

The promotion, which runs through September 7th is valid for children in first grade through 6th grade. Basically, kids read 8 books of their choosing and complete a Summer Reading Journal PDF. Once the journal is complete, the parent must sign the completed journal and take it to Barnes & Noble where they receive the free book.

The free books, which must be available stock, are:

Grades 1 & 2
Abe Lincoln's Hat, Martha Brenner
Biscuit Takes a Walk, Alyssa Satin Capucilli
Camping Out, Mercer Mayer
Curious George: Pinata Party/Jorge el Curioso y la pinata, H.A. Rey
Fancy Nancy: The Dazzling Book Report, Jane O'Connor
Little Bear's Visit, Else Holmelund Minarik

Grades 3 & 4
Chocolate Fever, Robert Kimmel Smith
Clarice Bean, Don't Look Now, Lauren Child
The Enormous Egg, Oliver Butterworth
Henry Huggins, Beverly Cleary
Justin and the Best Biscuits in the World, Mildred Pitts Walter
Moonwalk: The First trip to the Moon, Judy Donnely
Pick of the Litter, Bill Wallace
El Ratoncito de la Moto, Beverly Cleary
Soupy Saturdays with the Pain and the Great One, Judy Blume
Sugar Plum Ballerinas Plum Fantastic, Whoopi Goldberg

Grades 3 & 4
The Aurora County All-Stars, Deborah Wiles
Beacon Street Girls #1: Worst Enemy/Best Friends, Annie Bryant
Ben and Me, Robert Lawson
Lady Margaret's Ghost, Elizabeth M. Jones
Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief, Rick Riordan
Schooled, Gordon Korman
Sounder, William H Armstrong
The Twenty-One Balloons, William Pene du Bois
The Wednesday Wars, Gary D. Schmidt
The Year of the Rat, Grace Lin

One last thing, B&N is also offering the promo for Spanish language books to the delight of many Cuban great/grandmothers. Spanish Summer Reading Journal PDF

How to Protect Yourself on Craigslist

2009-05-23T17:04:00.000-04:00

You name it; you need it- if you want it, you can probably find it on Craigslist. Founded in 1995 in San Francisco by a newcomer to the city interested in local events, Craigslist is a central network of online communities throughout the world, featuring online classified advertisements. The mostly free listings are organized by section and consist of jobs, internships, real estate, personals, for sale/barter/wanted, services, community, gigs, resume, and pets categories as well as a rave/rant section and forums on various topics. Once just specific to the Bay area, Craigslist now boasts more than 10 billion page views per month in over 450 countries. Worldwide, the site has 40 million monthly viewers, including more than 30 million in the US alone.

South Florida is a hotbed of Craigslist activity. Event tickets, activities, garage sales, baby sitting, a one-night-stand, rentals, subleasing- anything and everything under the sun. Bargain hunters and penny pinchers alike surf Craigslist in hopes for the perfect deal. Sadly, so do the scammers- unscrupulous people who use Craigslist as their medium when finding victims as well as when committing their next crimes. How can you avoid being roped into one of these scams though? Are there any signs to look out for?

With Craigslist's increased popularity, the recent Craigslist escort murders, the economy struggling and Miami's unflattering distinction of having the highest inflation in the land, crooks are bound to get more creative in their attempts to steal your hard-earned dollar. Here are a few tips to help you avoid being ripped off.

Spotting a Scam

For starters, most Craigslist scams involve someone in another state or country; actually, you can avoid 99% of Craigslist scams by dealing with local users (buyers/vendors). These people usually express intense interest in an item sight unseen. The most popular scam is commonly referred to as the Nigerian spammer scam. It normally involves communication via e-mail advising you (seller) that a buyer is interested in your item and would like to send payment from a third party.

Third party transactions should be avoided. If you're selling a $50 bicycle and the buyer mentions his/her business partner requesting to be involved in the sale, I'd think twice. Including a third party like an associate or secretary, in what should be a relatively simple transaction is a practice employed by many scam artists. People often like to use escrow services (third parties who pay the seller once an item has been received) and while it may be a perfectly normal method of business on the web or elsewhere, how do you know the escrow service is legitimate?

If it sounds to good to be true, it is.

When renting a property found from a Craigslist listing, it's always best to do research on the property first. Check out the county's property appraiser's site. Make sure the person listed as the owner is the person you are negotiating with. For example, if you've been communicating with Mary Smith and the property lists an owner of Juan Perez, big red flags should go up. Similarly, if a property lists a bank as the owner, it may be in foreclosure.

Unfortunately South Florida has one of the highest foreclosure rates in the country. With people becoming increasingly more desperate to save their credit ratings and more creative with their ideas, it is becoming commonplace to hear of prompt paying renters evicted by banks who've taken back properties because owners didn't pay for mortgages. Now out a security deposit, possible extra months of rent and usually with their things thrown out on the street, what's an unsuspecting renter to do?

Another common scam is finding a property that is abandoned/foreclosed/empty and listing it on Craigslist. The scammer will enter the structure illegally, meet the victim, show the home as if he/she is the owner and then take a deposit in either cash or a check from the victim. When the victim tries to contact the owner for keys or comes to the property to move in, they are greeted with the fact that they've been duped. If you find something you're interested in, research the property and the property owner before forking over any monies. It's better to take a few moments and be informed than to be swindled out of thousands of dollars.

$500 a month, furnished, luxury 5 bedroom homes don't exist. Move on from that listing. Sometimes unscrupulous brokers can post misleading listings as well. Make sure to ask brokers plenty of questions regarding their properties. A reputable broker will offer full disclosure as to their identity and fees.

There's safety in numbers

Stranger danger- it's one of the first things we learn as children. You have no idea who you are on your way to meet or who is on their way to meet you. It's not an exaggeration, you could potentially be hours away from life's end. If meeting up with someone you contact on Craigslist, always use caution when suggesting a meeting place and time. Try to make the meet-up location a public place- like a bank, for example. Since there is usually an exchange of money, what better place right? You can also suggest malls, libraries, parks, parking lots- just remember to make sure you suggest a well-lit area if meeting at night. If you notice the person is hesitant or outright refuses to meet in public and is rather adamant about a private meeting place, you may want to think twice about the whole deal.

Similarly, when meeting someone who is purchasing something from you, consider a location other than your home. If you think meeting a stranger in public is grounds for concern, imagine these people knowing where you live. The last thing Any being accompanied. Taking a friend with you, while possibly inconvenient, may save your life. Your friend can serve as a 'lookout' of sorts. This way, if anything odd occurs, there is another person who can contact authorities for assistance.

In God I trust, all others pay Cash.

Sadly, a person's word is no longer worth the paper it's printed on if that paper is a check. When receiving payment for goods or services found or sold using Craigslist, ALWAYS ask for cash and even then, make sure the bills are real. Technological advancements in the graphics industry have made it rather easy to produce not only counterfeit bills but fake checks and money orders as well. You don't need to be a skilled engraver anymore, your neighborhood's punk kid can now become a millionaire using his HP printer that Santa brought him.

Familiarize yourself with the printing and paper characteristics of US currency or buy a counterfeit bill detector pen. If you don't happen to have a counterfeit bill pen handy, simply use a magnet. The easiest way for an untrained eye to spot a counterfeit bill is by using a magnet. US currency is printed using metallic inks that will draw a bill towards a magnet when placed near each other. Simply fold the bill in half and place the magnet near the loose half. If the magnet does not attract the bill, you should not take it. Fraudulent checks, cashier's or otherwise, along with money orders are more difficult to spot- even a bank teller can be duped. Banks will often cash the fraudulent document then hold you responsible for bank fees, weeks later, when the fake is discovered. For this reason alone, do yourself a favor and only accept cash.

Craigslist will never authorize or endorse a listing/property/sale. There is no such thing as 'Craigslist Certification.' Craigslist is not involved in ANY transaction (verbatim from the site). They will never handle payments, guarantee transactions, provide escrow services or offer buyer/seller protections like eBay does. You are on your own. "If you see any reference to a Craigslist approved escrow service or buyer protection service, we don't sponsor or endorse anything like that," says Craig Newmark, founder of Craigslist. "It's a scam. Tell us about it, and we'll get rid of it." To report a suspected fraudulent or questionable posting to Craigslist, please email details including the URL or 8 digit post ID to 'abuse@craigslist.org'.

Additionally, If you think you've been scammed or have knowledge about a fraud or scam attempt via Criagslist, in addition to contacting your local authorities (non-emergency number), you can contact the FTC via telephone at their toll free hotline, 877-FTC-HELP (877-382-4357) or via the online complaint form . You can also contact the Internet Fraud Complaint Center directly.

Joanie Leeds to Rock City Beautiful's Kids

2009-05-23T11:51:00.000-04:00

This Sunday a local singer-songwriter will be jamming at an outdoor concert sponsored by Books & Books in Coral Gables.

Already popular for her mainstream contributions to adult music, Joanie Leeds- children's music new 'it' sensation, will be making a stop at the Coral Gables store as part of largely sold-out, nationwide concert. Beginning at 5:00 p.m., listeners can enjoy songs from Miami-native Leed's popular, debut children's album, City Kid.

Oh yeah, it's FREE!

Inspired by her Manhattan, NY area music students, the album takes listeners along on popular NYC activities such as visiting Central Park Zoo, riding the subway and taxis. Entertaining even for the adult crowd because of it's catchy lyrics and contributing band, each song is a completely different style from the previous one.

Books & Books is located at 265 Aragon Ave in Coral Gables. For more information, call 305.442.4408

Books & Books will also be offering child-friendly menu options at The Café.

Beat the Heat: Catch Me If You Can Copper!

2009-05-22T10:37:00.000-04:00

When I came across this program, there were too many personal reasons why I wanted to share the information. Beat the Heat, Inc is an organization aimed at educating and protecting young drivers and innocent victims.

Using attention grabbing tactics, the programs educate drivers to the horrors of impaired driving but their main focus is anti-street racing. And not a moment too soon for some kids.

How many of you don't have memories of someone lost to reckless driving? I can count multiple names.

Part of a nationwide "Cops & Kids" effort, the program called Beat the Heat aims at making public roads safer through education. The non-profit organization, whose theme is 'racing for education,' focuses mainly on an anti-street racing program where police departments throughout the country partner with race tracks and the community to educate drivers, focusing especially on younger, more impressionable drivers.

Police race cars wow drivers. The organization boasts that the cool cars are able to break down natural barriers existing between youth and authority figures. Inquisitive drivers like to ask all sorts of questions regarding car statistics, power and driving experience. And then there's the beating the heat part.

Basically, you get to race a police car. For a fee, drivers can a race a police car. Lights and sirens are included for kicks.

Started in Jacksonville 25 years ago, the program which expanded nationwide in 1997 is operated completely by VOLUNTEER officers. It has since expanded to allow officers from different chapters to race their vehicles for the spot of 'Top Cop.'

The local chapters have reduced street racing dramatically but still have miles to go.

Beat the Heat is backed by the industry as well. The program is endorsed by the American Drag Racing Association, the International Drag Bike Association, the International Hot Rod Association, and the National Hot Rod Association.

The programs also welcomes disabled and women drivers. Even children as young as 8 can race thanks to the NHRA's new JR. DRAG RACING LEAGUE.

The next local event is tomorrow (I know, SUPER SHORT notice)at the Countyline Dragway
where the Medley and Davie chapters will be present. There will also be a stunt show and representation from 93 Rock.

Since the organization is funded purely by the drivers and donations, they need all the attention they can get. That's right- no tax dollars AND volunteer officers trying to educate Our kids and protect Our streets.

As a mother, naturally I never want my son to be affected by reckless driving including inexperienced drivers and careless actions. I never want him to watch a loved one, friend- anyone, injured or killed; never want him to lose anyone to careless driving; nor do I want him to cause injury to himself, or anyone else, because of his own recklessness. Maybe participating with him in a controlled environment would be a constructive, not to mention fun experience.

At (almost) age 6, this is preemptive- of course, because Nick is some 10 or so odd years away from driving but he does love cars. And more than just his MatchBox cars.

He's always asking- types, 2/W vs 4/W, V6; not that I think he understands what he's asking. Would it be wrong to encourage his interest by educating him, even at such an early age, if that's what he liked? I don't think so...but what I do I know?

Free Chocolate Fridays

2009-05-22T08:05:00.000-04:00

Jumping on the bailout and relief bandwagon, the Mars Snackfood US has created a promotion offering free chocolate products.

Dedicated to bringing cheer to Americans, The Real Chocolate Relief Act is a national effort to offset current economic and political demands by giving people a reason to smile. Michele Kessler, vice president, Mars Snackfood US. says 'It's our way of giving Americans a small treat during challenging times."

The promotion is running in conjunction with the company's effort to spread the word about their ingredients- hence the name, Real Chocolate.

Strict government regulations determine which ingredients can be used to produce foods called certain names. For 'chocolate', not includinf milk fat, basic standards require that cocoa butter be the only source of fat. Mars is very proud of their products going as far as providing tips on how to spot 'fake chocolate.'
How to Spot Fake Chocolate:

A telltale sign is the wording on the packaging. For 100% real, authentic chocolate, look for the words "milk chocolate," "semi-sweet chocolate" or "bittersweet chocolate." On the other hand, it's probably not real if you see the words, "chocolate flavor," "chocolate coating," "chocolaty," or "made with chocolate."

And beware of packaging that implies chocolate, but doesn't even mention it. Would it be cheaper for us to use vegetable oil? Yes. Would it be real chocolate? No. The next time you're choosing your chocolate, check the label. Chances are you could be getting something that's, well, fake. If it's Mars, you know it's real chocolate.

The promotion which has been running since earlier this month provides users with product discounts as well as coupons for free, full-sized Mars products. American favorites like Snickers, M&Ms, Milky Way, Twix, Dove, and my favorite- 3 Musketeers, are all included.

Consumers can access The real Chocolate Relief Act online. Simply complete the online form and voila- chocolate!

Available Fridays only, the promotion begins at 9am and will run through September. There is a limit of 250,000 coupons per Friday so earlier logins are encouraged.

Coupons are mailed to consumers and are limited to one per person, per week.

Forget Geico!!! Check Out the Money You Could Be Saving At Winn Dixie.

2009-05-21T10:12:00.001-04:00

Okay. So I had a little help from some coupons, but not much.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and spent $49.04. Not much...money or items, right?

Wrong.

On the item count anyhow- I purchased 33 items with those $49.04. What's more? I saved $71.82.

I almost saved twice as much as I spent!

Yup, twice. And I didn't buy any generic Winn Dixie brands either. Here's what I got:

- 2 loaves of Whole Wheat Bread
- 1 box of Ritz crackers
- 2 Oscar Meyer lunch meat packs (12 slices ea/ of ham, turkey & bologna)
- 1 tub of Breyer's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream
- 1 tub of Breyer's Dulce de Leche ice cream
- 1 bag of Friskies Indoor Delight cat food
- 4 individual containers of Kraft microwaveable Macs-N-Cheese
- 2 packs of Kraft American Cheese slices (32 slices)
- 2 boxes of Duncan Hines brownie mix
- 2 boxes of Ziploc, Easy Zipper bags (40 bags)
- 2 packs of Oscar Meyer Hot Dogs (16 dogs)
- 2 cans of Green Giant corn
- 2 roll of Bounty paper towels
- 2 bricks of Philly cream cheese (mmmm, stuffed french toast)
- 2 packs of frozen shrimp
- 2 packs of Italian sausages (8 sausages)
- 1 Kraft honey-garlic BBQ sauce
- 1 pack of Hunts pudding snacks
- 1 bottle of Hunts Ketchup

The manufacturers coupons I used netted me $14.24 in savings but my Winn Dixie Customer Rewards card saved me $57.58...still MORE than I what I spent.

Now that's what I call loyalty rewards!

Incidentally, I print my manufacturers coupons from places like upromise, couponmom, smartsource and a couple of others.

By the way, if you notice, I've saved $863.67 total. That's total savings for this calendar year only. We're not even through the fifth month! I'm averaging a little over $170 in monthly savings, I mean free groceries.

Geico never saved me that much.

Oh, if WD wants to feature me in any of their ads (as a thanks for this free plug), please do! Your current ads with people saying they saved "10" and "12" dollars are grossly inaccurate. :D

Ancient Civilization: The Miami Circle

2009-05-17T17:35:00.001-04:00

From my other blog.

This fall Miami's oldest known structure, an archaeological site, becomes it's newest attraction.

Discovered in 1998 during a routine archeological survey of a luxury condominium construction site, the Miami Circle is located in downtown Miami. It is believed to have been built by the Tequesta Indians. Dated to between 1700 and 2000 years old, the Oolitic limestone bedrock carvings consisting of a number of perfect circles considerably predate other known East Coast settlements and is the only known bedrock structure in the US.

Included in the 1998 find were a many artifacts ranging from primitive tools, marine life remains, charcoal fire remnants and human remains. The discovery is a testimony to the lifestyle and culture of the Miami River's ancient civilization.

The Miami Circle, also known as The Miami Circle at Brickell Point Site, consists of a pattern of perfect circle carved from 24 other holes and surrounded by even more circular holes. or basins cut into the limestone bedrock, on a coastal spit of land, surrounded by a large number of other 'minor' holes. The circle is approximately 38 ft in diameter.

Long involved in a tug-of-war between wealthy investors because of it's prime, waterside, real estate value and historical preservation organizations, the Miami Circle was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 2002 and declared a National Historic Landmark in January of this year.

Signing a 44 yr lease in 2008, the Historical Museum of Southern Florida is the site's curator and protector. Previously uncovered an inaccessible, the museum has been working dutifully to make this treasure available to the public.

Thanks to public funding and donations, the museum will finally be able to repair the damaged seawall as well as funding to create a community park. The park which will feature recreation areas, a river walk and a gallery will be located at the mouth of the Miami River. The Historical Museum of Southern Florida will also be offering guided tours of the circle.

Opening ceremonies are slated for late September.

5 Best Things to do in Miami = $5 for Daily Bread Food Bank

2009-05-13T08:31:00.000-04:00

Nextstop.com, a site with collective guides about cities where people share the places and experiences they love most, anywhere in the world, is offering a cool promotion:

Create a guide of 5 local places in the Miami area that you love and would recommend and Nextstop will donate $5 to Miami's Daily Bread Food Bank.

Daily Bread Food Bank, founded in 1981, operates on one simple principle: reduce hunger by reducing waste. They are a not-for-profit organization that educates and engages the community to fight hunger, fight poverty and to improve their lives. They are the South Florida affiliate of Feeding America, a member of the Florida Association of Food Banks and the largest food bank in the State of Florida so they need all the help they can get!

Please take a few minutes to create a guide with your top 5 local spots- restaurants, parks, theaters, beaches, and help out a worthy cause in the process.

Parenting Readiness Test

2009-05-06T15:50:00.001-04:00

I love this every time I get it in an e-mail. The author is unknown but there's NO doubt he/she was a parent!

Mess Test
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed from outside and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Repeat. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Toy Test
Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos (if Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)

Dressing Test
Obtain one large, unhappy, living octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

Feeding Test
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

Night Test
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 – 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Physical Test (Women)
Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of you clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.

Physical Test (Men)
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

Grocery Store Test
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Final Assignment
Find a couple who has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

Seattle's Best- FREE

2009-05-04T15:43:00.000-04:00

But you have to act quickly!!!

This coupon is valid in-store only and will get you a free 12 oz beverage at Borders! Hurry- it expires May 6th!

Print your coupon here.

Christians by Maya Angelou

2009-05-01T12:47:00.000-04:00

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin'.'
I'm whispering 'I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian'
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Share this with somebody who already has this understanding, as reinforcement.

But more importantly, share this with those who do not have a clear understanding of what it means to be a Christian, so that the myth that Christians think they are 'perfect' or 'better than others' can be dispelled.

True greatness does not come to those
Who strive for worldly fame,
It lies instead with those who choose
To serve in Jesus' name.

Before I was a Mom

2009-05-01T12:46:00.000-04:00

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on.
Pooped on
Chewed on
Peed on
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the JOY,
the LOVE,
the heartache,
the WONDERMENT or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

Send this to someone who you think is an awesome Mom.

May you always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God rather than by the cares of life

Miami Law (Sue on being nerdy)

2009-04-30T20:44:00.000-04:00

'Cuz I'll never really grow up...and thank heaven for sons. :)

Official Release:

"Miami Law gives players the opportunity to fight crime by using brute force or conducting detective work," said Mike Pepe, Director of Marketing at Hudson Entertainment.  "The unique combination of action and crime-scene investigation gameplay will keep Nintendo DS owners hooked throughout the entire TV series ready storyline."  Miami Law features an intricate storyline with a shadowy terrorist conspiracy, furious shoot-outs in abandoned warehouses, challenging crime-scene detective work and more.  Players will have many opportunities to choose their path and experience the story from two points of view - either as the intense Law Martin from the Miami PD or the brainy Sara Starling from the FBI.  Depending on which character they pick, players will be presented with different challenges.  Playing as Sara will feature a puzzle-based, mystery solving element, whereas playing as Law will thrust the player into the action, often into car chases or shoot-outs where taking out the bad guys is the only way to get results.  Unlockable extras, including Texas Hold 'Em Poker and Sudoku, are also included and can be played at any time after being unlocked."

Exclusive DS release is scheduled for 06.09.09

BARGAIN ALERT: Purina Cat/Dog Food

2009-04-30T16:28:00.000-04:00

“Give A Bowl invites you to download a great savings coupon ($4.00) from Purina. When you redeem your coupon, Purina donates $1.00 worth of Purina brand pet food coupons to the participating animal welfare organization of your choice.”

All you have to do is complete a short questionnaire, pick your fave local pet charity and print a coupon for $3.50 to $4.00 off of a bag. Most of the smaller bags are usually under $4 so this is pretty much a STEAL!!!

Happy Freebies!

Get Coupon Here

Supply and Demand (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: passing genes)

2009-04-29T13:15:00.000-04:00

Nick: Mom- are there tacos in San Francisco?

Me: Yes. You can probably get a taco anywhere. (wondering whytf he's asking 'bout Frisco?)

Nick: Even in outer space?

:/

...

(smartass)

If only it were that easy...(excerpts from 'Raising Nick' re: fantasy)

2009-04-29T13:14:00.000-04:00

Nick: Mom, if I behave tonight, can we go to Hawaii next week?

Gus & I: (looking at each other) ...

Sue: (to Gus, smirking) If I behave tonight, can we go to Hawaii next week?

Gus: ::smile::

does that mean yes?

Some 'girls are mean' bitches....(excerpt 'Raising Nick')

2009-04-29T13:13:00.000-04:00

Nick: Mom, why are girls so mean?

Me: Who was mean to you?

Nick: Nicole and Stephanie (No clue who Stephanie is but Nicole sent him a $1 Valentine Gram for ValentiMe's day)

Me: But not Celeste?

Nick: No. Celeste is nice. (NOTE: Celeste is this cutesie, little, pig-tailed girl in his class who ALWAYS SCREAMS 'goodbye' to him when I pick him up @ school's end. She has a little sister named Emily and Nick ALWAYS talks about her. I like her so I usually ask.)

Me: How are they mean? What do they do?

Nick: Well, they're not friends because Stephanie doesn't like Nicole and I'm friends with Stephanie because she sits next to me.

Me: OK, but how are they mean?

Nick: They say they don't want to play with me.

Me: OH. Do you want to play with them?

Nick: No. Girls are mean but why? You're a girl mom.

Me: If you don't want to play with them, then it shouldn't matter why they are mean but not all girls are mean- just some. Nicole and Stephanie are mean because they want to play with you and don't know how to tell you that.

Nick: Can I just play with Sean and Isaiah?

Me: as long as you get an E

Nick: Nicole smells bad

Me: (trying not to laugh) OH...

Wiener Sighting (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: reading skills)

2009-04-29T13:12:00.000-04:00

Nick: (LOUD) look ma- WIENER!!!

Me: (driving) What?...what are you talking about silly boy? What wiener?

Nick: Look! The sign says 'wiener,' right mom? (pointing at roadside sign)

(driving eastbound on Killian, going over the Don Shula)

Me: It sure does but that's a lawyer's office not a real wiener. (Adopt-A-Road program, Law offices of Wiener & something forgettable)
(thinking to self- 'I didn't learn about wieners in kindergarten.')

Nick: What's a lawyer Mom?

(Thinking to self- 'sometimes a wiener...')

Plastic Identity (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re:sentimental ties)

2009-04-29T13:11:00.000-04:00

Background info: Plastic animal (giraffe, elephant, tiger) collecting, bike riding, fun filled Zoo day with about what seemed like half of Miami....MAN was the zoo packed!

(...in the car, on the way home)

Nick: Dad, can I name the giraffe?

Gus: Of course. What do you want to name him?

Nick: DeeJay

Gus: But you can't name it DeeJay, you already had a 'DeeJay.'

Nick: But I like DeeJay

Gus: That's like if Mom and I have another baby and name him/her Nicolas.

Nick: Oh...

silence

Nick: I know. I'll call him 'Smith.'

LOUD laughter from Mom and Dad

Seeing is believing (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re:mistaken identities)

2009-04-29T13:10:00.000-04:00

Background info: immediately after seeing a braille sign....

Nick: Mom, what are the little dots for?

Me: They're for the blind.

Nick: the blind?

Me: Blind people cannot see.

Nick: Why?

Me: Well, sometimes people are born that way; sometimes they get sick and lose their vision (pointing at his eye); sometimes they get hurt in an accident.

Nick: An accident? Like when I leave my cars on the floor and it's dark and you can't see them and you sometimes fall.

Me: (trying not to laugh, semi-stern voice) Yes, like that. You have to pick up your cars or I'll think you don't want them and I'll give them to the church.

Nick: Ok.

Me: :)

.......

Nick: Mom- blind people grow up to be pirates?

.........

Case Studies: TV rots kids brains (excerpt 'Raising Nick' re: selfishness)

2009-04-29T12:57:00.001-04:00

Background: Me standing on the counter top of Nick's bathroom sink painting an airplane....teetering on tippy-toes 'cuz I have vertical accessibility issues...Nick laying on the bathroom rug staring at the ceiling pestering me to finish the plane and start the clouds on the ceiling.

Nick: Mom- be careful! You're going to fall and I don't want you to get hurt.

Me: I'm not going to fall but thank you.
(Thinking to myself 'perfect opportunity for a 911 refresher')

Me: Do you know what to do if I fall and can't get up or if you see someone sleeping and they don't wake up?

Nick: Yes.

Me: What?

Nick: I call 9 1 1.

Me: Good. Do you know your address?

Nick. Yes. It's (includes hand signs) THE 3 O 5...

Me: ....where did you learn that nonsense? Did Tia Nicole teach you that?

Nick: I saw it on my TV when I was 4 years old.

(Note: when Nick refers to memories, he includes 'when I was '..IDK)

Me: TV is bad. It rots your brain. 3 ZERO 5 is our area code but it's not our address. Our address is XXXXXXXXXXX.

Time lapse: 5 minutes, practicing address

Nick: Mom- if I call 9 1 1, do I get a medal like that kid on TV?

Bulletproof backpack. Wait, 'bulletproof' what?

2007-10-27T21:33:00.000-04:00

A West Palm Beach radio station purchased one of the backpacks and decided to put it to the test. They took the backpack to a gun range, strapped it to a stand and enlisted experienced gunman John Patrick to fire the shots.

Standing about 15 feet away, Patrick first fired a nine-millimeter handgun, then a 45-millimeter and finally a 38-millimeter was fired at the backpack.

After the backpack was checked for holes on the outside and penetration on the inside, it was determined that the backpack held up very well and did better than expected.

A backpack? A bulletproof backpack? My Jansport never did that and you know what? I'm glad it didn't have to.

It's a sad day when gun safety is so mainstream that kids have to don backpacks that can double as a bulletproof vest. I really wish my son didn't have issues of this sort to deal with in his future...for my sake as well as his.

Chinese Corner Cutting Hits Home

2007-10-05T21:07:00.000-04:00

Every day I turn on the news and hear the same shit 'blah, blah, blah...made in china recall...blah, blah, blah...'

Nick even had a few toys from recent recall lists so I should be more concerned but I'll admit that it is wearisome to question every product's safety...

At least it was until this morning.

This morning began like any other day.

I overslept. Nick refused to stop watching cartoons. One of the cats took a ginormously stinky crap in the litter box.

Like I said, normal day.

But it could have been the worst day, ever...

As I put on my take Nick to school uniform: jeans, a tee, a Gators cap to hide my morning hair and some chancks, Nick
tended to his pearly whites. He loves to brush his teeth.

He also loves Thomas the Train.

So naturally, last month when Nick and I saw the Thomas the Train mechanical toothbrush at Target,
~~he screamed to high hell until I put it in the cart~~
we had to get it!

This morning, he comes in quietly.

Mira lo que paso mami

He then hands me the toothbrush with one hand and the brush head and a hair-thin metal pin with the other.

Gracias. Estas bien?

(as I inspect the toothbrush to make sure he's handed me all the pieces)

I don't know how it happened because I didn't see it. All I know is that it came apart IN his mouth and he spit it out the pieces.

When I think of what could've happened...

WTF?

No really,

WHAT THE FUCK?

See those two pieces? Those TWO CHOKING HAZZARDS?

I'm not being over-dramatic.

Fuck choking.

Fuck freak out.

He could have died...

I flipped the toothbrush over:

Made in China.

****UPDATE****

So I wrote to the Consumer Products Safety Commission and received a response. it's your standard issue cookie cutter response with an abundance of copy machine fuzz but they are requesting additional information.

blah, blah, blah ".....If your complaint is among those selected, A Cpsc field investigator will contact you within 30 days from the day you receive this letter."

Let's see what happens.

Father arrested after son brings home bad grades..

2007-10-03T23:42:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, I received money for As and Bs. Anything less was automatic grounding. The groundings were less than 5 in number as a whole but maybe if my parents would have taken advice from this guy I would’ve been a valedictorian!

Coral Gables police arrested and charged the father of an 8 year-old little boy with aggravated child abuse after the school called officials.

According to school officials, the 8 year-old went to the nurse complaining that it hurt to sit. Upon examining him, they discovered bruises on his buttocks and upper thighs. When questioned, the little boy admitted his father had hit him with a belt.

When the Department of Children and Families questioned the 30 year-old father, he admitted he had hit his son with a belt. He hit him as punishment for bad grades.

...

A judge released Loscar Rodriguez on pre-trial release because the judge felt the man was just disciplining his child.

The judge citing that Rodriguez had not hit his son with “the buckle or a baseball bat which cause injury,” also stated “a belt is supposed to leave a mark.”

Apparently BRUISES are not the types of ‘marks’ left on someone ‘injured.’

30 year-old Rodriguez, a bartender at Oxygen nightclub in the Grove, cannot have any contact with his son until further notice.

Well that’s good because according to the judge “spanking never hurt anyone.” Or at least that’s what he thinks Rodriguez did: spank.

As a parent, I’m all for spanking a child. In my eyes, it really just boils down to association. If you’re not going to listen, then you’re going to get spanked. Sooner or later, like Pavlov’s dogs, the child will learn to listen even if he does so simply to avoid being spanked.

And to spank him over grades?

How bad were they?

Aren't we only two months into the school year?

8 years old. That's the 3rd grade, no?

To his credit, at least it was for something positive. I think his actions, while well intended, clearly went over the line.

That said, as a child that was disciplined, I don’t think I was abused. The difference between when I was disciplined and what this guy did is as simple as black and white, well black and blue anyway. My parents never hit me so hard that they ~~hurt me~~ left bruises!

damned semantics...

All joking aside, there's a really fine line here and I could potentially argue either side.

Where's the mom?

Are you my daddy?

2007-09-28T16:50:00.000-04:00

There’s this guy: the Paul Mitchell guy. Well, Paul Mitchell I guess. Duh!!
I swear he is related to Tom Selleck. Am I the only one who sees the family resemblance?

Every time I’m at a salon or browsing through a magazine and come across an image of Paul Mitchell, I always have the same thought.

Someone please give these two a DNA test!

The resemblance is uncanny.

These two could be brothers. Father and unknown child? They both have that same elongated face; the same light eyes; the same bone structure; the same facial hair patterns and hello- look at those noses! Heck, they even have the same receding hairline!

Um yeah, Paul Mitchell is the one with the monkey on his back... haha

'Because si mami.'

2007-07-30T19:17:00.000-04:00

I should know better.

He's added talcum powder, vapor rub, food, toys, writing utensils, you name it to the fish tank.

Nick swears the fish speak to him.

Anyhow, I should have known better than to buy a $12 fish. Ah, the sunkissed, red nosed angel (not species just a description of what it looked like), he/she was a beaut...and lasted all of 12 hours in the tank.

When I went to feed the fish this morning, no angel.

Damn that motherfu**ing limpiador! He's supposed to eat sh*t not fish!

(Enter Nick stage left)

"Que haces?"

"Buscando el angelito"

"Esta ahi"

I turn my head and look at him.

"Adonde?"

"Ahi" (as he points to his toy box)

{Here's where the super sleuth, CSI mom eye comes in}

I scan the room and notice the chair out of place. It's almost where it should be but not quite. What's that? A couple of, what look like, water drops on the arm of the chair. A red Elefun net on the floor. Upon further observation (I touched it), I notice the net is wet.

Son of a bi*ch this kid!

"You took him out? Why did you do that?

(I love how my angry language is English lol)

"but, because si mami."

My grandmother always said 'Hija eres y madre seras. Lo que tu le hicistes, ellos te haran."
Translation: Get ready honey 'cuz payback's a bi*ch!

I paid $1 for every hour I owned that fish...

Lesson learned: No more $12 fish. BONUS: Add a second lock to the tank!

"Penis Envy"

2007-07-27T11:14:00.000-04:00

With the advent of "learning Nick," I'm assured to be faced with a cornucopia of random questions and unfamiliar situations however I didn't expect this bomb.

This morning, as I rubbed my eyes in unlit surroundings, I was greeted by Nick who was holding open his underoos, staring in and requesting that I do the same.

"Mira lo que paso. Mami, mi pito esta duro. Porque?" (with a tilted headed, questioning glance and wispy hair covering his eyes)

Holding back what would wave been a fabulous bout of laughter I replied "Es normal. You just need to take a shower."

"Estoy sucio?"

(Fighting back additional laughter) "No. No. Pero vamos a banarte."

And off he went.

Here's the funny in parenting right? But alas, not having a penis of my own, I am unfamiliar with the circumstances and was truly not prepared for this question.
What the hell?
He is 3, almost 4, going on 30 sometimes- are penis questions supposed to be coming this early?

And how am I supposed to keep a straight face for that?

Nick's 3rd Birthday

2007-07-01T19:29:00.001-04:00

Nick 08/06/06
@ the Miami Children's Museum

Family Fun

2007-07-01T19:28:00.000-04:00

Nick 04/06

Sparkler

2007-07-01T19:27:00.000-04:00

Nick 07.04.06
Lighting sparklers on the 4th

Beach Fun

2007-07-01T19:24:00.000-04:00

Nick 06/06
South Beach making sandcastles

Disney

2007-07-01T19:19:00.000-04:00

Nick 02/06
@ Magic Kingdom

Cousins

2007-07-01T19:17:00.000-04:00

Nick & Sebastian
01/06
Roly & Denia's rehearsal dinner

Under the Bigtop

2007-07-01T19:14:00.000-04:00

Nick 01/06
@ the circus

Learn-Create-Play

2007-07-01T19:10:00.000-04:00

Nick 12/05
@ Miami Children's Museum

Elmopalooza, Nick's 2nd Birthday

2007-07-01T19:06:00.000-04:00

Nick 08.07.05

Potty Time

2007-07-01T19:03:00.000-04:00

Nick 07/05
clearly, on the potty

Where a Kid Can Be A Kid

2007-07-01T19:02:00.000-04:00

Nick 06/05
@ Chuck E. Cheese's for Ryan's 2nd Birthday

Thankful for you

2007-07-01T18:59:00.000-04:00

Nick 11/04
in a hat made by Cusi

Zoo Times

2007-07-01T18:55:00.000-04:00

Nick 06/05
@ Metro Zoo

The Soul is Healed

2007-07-01T18:53:00.000-04:00

Nick 12/04
Sewell Park

All Boy

2007-07-01T18:51:00.000-04:00

Nick 04/05

Boy meets World

2007-07-01T18:48:00.000-04:00

Nick 03/05
in his new space-themed room

Joy is You

2007-07-01T18:45:00.000-04:00

Nick, Christmas 04
with Cassie

Parrot Jungle

2007-07-01T18:39:00.000-04:00

Nick @ the Parrot Jungle
12/04

Pumpkin

2007-07-01T18:38:00.000-04:00

Nick @ the Pumpkin Patch
10/04

Water Loving

2007-07-01T18:36:00.000-04:00

Nick on South Beach
10/04

Fun In the Sun

2007-07-01T17:49:00.000-04:00

Nick 09/04

Let 'em Eat Cake

2007-07-01T17:46:00.000-04:00

Nick eating cake
08.07.04

Nick's 1st Birthday

2007-07-01T17:43:00.000-04:00

Nick's 1st Birthday
08.07.04

Surfer Babes

2007-07-01T17:41:00.000-04:00

Nick 07/04

Tub Time

2007-07-01T17:38:00.000-04:00

Nick
07/04

Teach Me to Play, I'll learn to Laugh

2007-07-01T17:35:00.000-04:00

Nick with Grandpa
Father's Day 04

A Dash of Sweetness

2007-07-01T17:23:00.000-04:00

Nick 06/04
Photo Credit: Photography by Mia

My 1st Tooth

2007-07-01T17:17:00.000-04:00

Nick 05/04

2007-07-01T17:16:00.000-04:00

Nick 05/04
@ Tia Chatin's

My Boy

2007-07-01T17:14:00.000-04:00

Nick 01/04

The First Noel

2007-07-01T17:10:00.000-04:00

Nick's 1st Christmas
12/03
Photo Credit: Photography by Mia

Piece of My Heart

2007-07-01T17:04:00.000-04:00

Nick in 04/04
@ Eileen & Lawrence's

1 Snip, 2 Snip, 3 Snips, 4

2007-07-01T17:02:00.000-04:00

Nick's 1st Haircut
03/04