Saturday, October 27, 2007

Bulletproof backpack. Wait, 'bulletproof' what?

A West Palm Beach radio station purchased one of the backpacks and decided to put it to the test. They took the backpack to a gun range, strapped it to a stand and enlisted experienced gunman John Patrick to fire the shots.

Standing about 15 feet away, Patrick first fired a nine-millimeter handgun, then a 45-millimeter and finally a 38-millimeter was fired at the backpack.

After the backpack was checked for holes on the outside and penetration on the inside, it was determined that the backpack held up very well and did better than expected.

A backpack? A bulletproof backpack? My Jansport never did that and you know what? I'm glad it didn't have to.

It's a sad day when gun safety is so mainstream that kids have to don backpacks that can double as a bulletproof vest. I really wish my son didn't have issues of this sort to deal with in his future...for my sake as well as his.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Are you my daddy?

There’s this guy: the Paul Mitchell guy. Well, Paul Mitchell I guess. Duh!!
I swear he is related to Tom Selleck. Am I the only one who sees the family resemblance?

Every time I’m at a salon or browsing through a magazine and come across an image of Paul Mitchell, I always have the same thought.

Someone please give these two a DNA test!

The resemblance is uncanny.

These two could be brothers. Father and unknown child? They both have that same elongated face; the same light eyes; the same bone structure; the same facial hair patterns and hello- look at those noses! Heck, they even have the same receding hairline!

Um yeah, Paul Mitchell is the one with the monkey on his back... haha

Monday, July 30, 2007

'Because si mami.'

I should know better.

He's added talcum powder, vapor rub, food, toys, writing utensils, you name it to the fish tank.

Nick swears the fish speak to him.

Anyhow, I should have known better than to buy a $12 fish. Ah, the sunkissed, red nosed angel (not species just a description of what it looked like), he/she was a beaut...and lasted all of 12 hours in the tank.

When I went to feed the fish this morning, no angel.

Damn that motherfu**ing limpiador! He's supposed to eat sh*t not fish!

(Enter Nick stage left)

"Que haces?"

"Buscando el angelito"

"Esta ahi"

I turn my head and look at him.


"Ahi" (as he points to his toy box)

{Here's where the super sleuth, CSI mom eye comes in}

I scan the room and notice the chair out of place. It's almost where it should be but not quite. What's that? A couple of, what look like, water drops on the arm of the chair. A red Elefun net on the floor. Upon further observation (I touched it), I notice the net is wet.

Son of a bi*ch this kid!

"You took him out? Why did you do that?

(I love how my angry language is English lol)

"but, because si mami."

My grandmother always said 'Hija eres y madre seras. Lo que tu le hicistes, ellos te haran."
Translation: Get ready honey 'cuz payback's a bi*ch!

I paid $1 for every hour I owned that fish...

Lesson learned: No more $12 fish. BONUS: Add a second lock to the tank!

Friday, July 27, 2007

"Penis Envy"

With the advent of "learning Nick," I'm assured to be faced with a cornucopia of random questions and unfamiliar situations however I didn't expect this bomb.

This morning, as I rubbed my eyes in unlit surroundings, I was greeted by Nick who was holding open his underoos, staring in and requesting that I do the same.

"Mira lo que paso. Mami, mi pito esta duro. Porque?" (with a tilted headed, questioning glance and wispy hair covering his eyes)

Holding back what would wave been a fabulous bout of laughter I replied "Es normal. You just need to take a shower."

"Estoy sucio?"

(Fighting back additional laughter) "No. No. Pero vamos a banarte."

And off he went.

Here's the funny in parenting right? But alas, not having a penis of my own, I am unfamiliar with the circumstances and was truly not prepared for this question.
What the hell?
He is 3, almost 4, going on 30 sometimes- are penis questions supposed to be coming this early?

And how am I supposed to keep a straight face for that?

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Nick's 3rd Birthday

Nick 08/06/06
@ the Miami Children's Museum

Family Fun

Nick 04/06


Nick 07.04.06
Lighting sparklers on the 4th

Beach Fun

Nick 06/06
South Beach making sandcastles


Nick 02/06
@ Magic Kingdom


Nick & Sebastian
Roly & Denia's rehearsal dinner

Under the Bigtop

Nick 01/06
@ the circus


Nick 12/05
@ Miami Children's Museum

Elmopalooza, Nick's 2nd Birthday

Nick 08.07.05

Where a Kid Can Be A Kid

Nick 06/05
@ Chuck E. Cheese's for Ryan's 2nd Birthday

Thankful for you

Nick 11/04
in a hat made by Cusi

Zoo Times

Nick 06/05
@ Metro Zoo

The Soul is Healed

Nick 12/04
Sewell Park

All Boy

Nick 04/05

Boy meets World

Nick 03/05
in his new space-themed room

Joy is You

Nick, Christmas 04
with Cassie

Parrot Jungle

Nick @ the Parrot Jungle


Nick @ the Pumpkin Patch

Water Loving

Nick on South Beach

Fun In the Sun

Nick 09/04

Let 'em Eat Cake

Nick eating cake

Nick's 1st Birthday

Nick's 1st Birthday