Monday, July 30, 2007

'Because si mami.'


I should know better.

He's added talcum powder, vapor rub, food, toys, writing utensils, you name it to the fish tank.

Nick swears the fish speak to him.

Anyhow, I should have known better than to buy a $12 fish. Ah, the sunkissed, red nosed angel (not species just a description of what it looked like), he/she was a beaut...and lasted all of 12 hours in the tank.

When I went to feed the fish this morning, no angel.

Damn that motherfu**ing limpiador! He's supposed to eat sh*t not fish!

(Enter Nick stage left)

"Que haces?"

"Buscando el angelito"

"Esta ahi"

I turn my head and look at him.

"Adonde?"

"Ahi" (as he points to his toy box)

{Here's where the super sleuth, CSI mom eye comes in}

I scan the room and notice the chair out of place. It's almost where it should be but not quite. What's that? A couple of, what look like, water drops on the arm of the chair. A red Elefun net on the floor. Upon further observation (I touched it), I notice the net is wet.

Son of a bi*ch this kid!

"You took him out? Why did you do that?

(I love how my angry language is English lol)

"but, because si mami."

My grandmother always said 'Hija eres y madre seras. Lo que tu le hicistes, ellos te haran."
Translation: Get ready honey 'cuz payback's a bi*ch!

I paid $1 for every hour I owned that fish...

Lesson learned: No more $12 fish. BONUS: Add a second lock to the tank!

Friday, July 27, 2007

"Penis Envy"

With the advent of "learning Nick," I'm assured to be faced with a cornucopia of random questions and unfamiliar situations however I didn't expect this bomb.

This morning, as I rubbed my eyes in unlit surroundings, I was greeted by Nick who was holding open his underoos, staring in and requesting that I do the same.

"Mira lo que paso. Mami, mi pito esta duro. Porque?" (with a tilted headed, questioning glance and wispy hair covering his eyes)

Holding back what would wave been a fabulous bout of laughter I replied "Es normal. You just need to take a shower."

"Estoy sucio?"

(Fighting back additional laughter) "No. No. Pero vamos a banarte."

And off he went.

Here's the funny in parenting right? But alas, not having a penis of my own, I am unfamiliar with the circumstances and was truly not prepared for this question.
What the hell?
He is 3, almost 4, going on 30 sometimes- are penis questions supposed to be coming this early?

And how am I supposed to keep a straight face for that?

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Nick's 3rd Birthday







Nick 08/06/06
@ the Miami Children's Museum

Family Fun



Nick 04/06

Sparkler



Nick 07.04.06
Lighting sparklers on the 4th

Beach Fun



Nick 06/06
South Beach making sandcastles

Disney






Nick 02/06
@ Magic Kingdom

Cousins


Nick & Sebastian
01/06
Roly & Denia's rehearsal dinner

Under the Bigtop




Nick 01/06
@ the circus

Learn-Create-Play



Nick 12/05
@ Miami Children's Museum

Elmopalooza, Nick's 2nd Birthday






Nick 08.07.05

Where a Kid Can Be A Kid




Nick 06/05
@ Chuck E. Cheese's for Ryan's 2nd Birthday

Thankful for you



Nick 11/04
in a hat made by Cusi

Zoo Times



Nick 06/05
@ Metro Zoo

The Soul is Healed



Nick 12/04
Sewell Park

All Boy




Nick 04/05

Boy meets World




Nick 03/05
in his new space-themed room

Joy is You



Nick, Christmas 04
with Cassie

Parrot Jungle




Nick @ the Parrot Jungle
12/04

Pumpkin



Nick @ the Pumpkin Patch
10/04

Water Loving




Nick on South Beach
10/04

Fun In the Sun



Nick 09/04

Let 'em Eat Cake




Nick eating cake
08.07.04

Nick's 1st Birthday







Nick's 1st Birthday
08.07.04

Surfer Babes




Nick 07/04

Tub Time




Nick
07/04